Email aftermath

I think I was pretty nice in the email. It could have been worse. I did get snippy but I have a right to. They are in such denial it drives me crazy sometimes. I try to let things not get to me, I try to pick my battles and not take on so much emotional baggage. I tried to let this roll off, and for the most part I did. I did end up with a migraine but it was a mild one that a couple Advil fixed.. My dad was pissed - he's MY protector :) He wanted to send a scathing email back but I think I handled the whole thing maturely - for the most part - so him nor my mom felt compelled to. Of course I had to deal with the aftermath of my mother getting the email. She took it much worse than I did and for the next couple of days I had to listen to her rant on how SHE has given up her life for Penelope and how Harriet has ruined HER life etc. etc. I put the blame back on George but whatever. I listened the best I could trying to let it all just roll off with the rest of it. Then she told me how she hadn't taken her anti-depressants in a while because she needed to get them refilled. I said "CALL IT IN AND I WILL PICK IT UP!" Things got better a few days after that.
I did have to tell her to quit complaining about my dad though. It's constant with her. I told her that I will do what I can to listening to the rest of it but I have to draw a line. From my perspective he is the best dad in the world and I wouldn't be alive today without him. She got mad and said it's just like Penelope with her dad and mom. In other words, she loves him regardless of all the atrocities he has done but highly critical of the mother. Whatever mom. I know she is going through her own thing with my dad and it's honestly nothing new. That doesn't mean it's not real. The problem she is having is that money is tight with the family. She is commission only in a market that pretty much has shambles right now and my dad is the only one who is bringing any money in. And honestly, her "investment" into her sales makes her income net negative so that comes out of dad's paycheck. He helps me out a lot with all our expenses - and Penelope is very expensive. And George is on disability right now and it's not enough to cover his expenses so my dad has to help him out too. So I get to listen to my mom complain about not getting to go on vacations and she is always trying to plan one anyway. She is still planning to go on a cruise this fall. She just got her hair done and I will tell you I know that it cost at least $250. I haven't had my hair cut in 8 months and I cut Penelope's hair myself.
My dad just told me today that his company is cutting his pay to half. He has known for a couple of months this was in the works but it's effective in one week. I can tell he is still taking it hard even though he was trying to be optimistic about it. He said he can start collecting on his Social Security, being of that age and all, and he essentially will have the same income - but with less hours of work. I don't know how long it takes to get that started and I think that might be part of his concern, I don't know. I feel so bad because I wish I didn't need him to help me with Penelope. I wish I was a stronger person and could handle Penelope's needs and my own. I called him back after about 30 minutes because I hadn't told him I have a lunch appointment with an old friend who is now running a company - I would see if she has anything I can do to earn some extra money. That wasn't my intent with the lunch but I should. He told me I didn't have to, he would never ask me to do that. He knows how hard it is for me. I couldn't help but get emotional. Again, he says what I need to hear but of course I torment myself anyway.
When he first told me the news, he had said he hadn't told my mom yet. I asked him that when he does, to tell her not to tell me or something because I don't know if I can deal with her comments about how hard my needing them to help me financially has burdened her. It's not like she comes out and says it, she just makes comments about how she can't afford to do anything she wants to and emails me job postings. But as soon as I said it I felt bad, because I'm talking about making things easier for me about it and I told him to nevermind. It was my problem. I had made a point up until now to not tell him how she does that and I ended up saying it anyway - just because I forseen it coming and got upset - about it and the fact that I'm such a burden on him. He knows I feel bad about it and he makes every point to act like giving me $1000 here and there no big deal. I will probably never be able to repay him. I just have to remember that he knows that I'm the only one who can do what I am doing for Penelope. And he loves her just as much as I do. I just have to keep remembering that.