So yesterday was Penelope’s birthday. She turned 15 years old. Just like any holiday, it stresses her out. This is the first year in many she was allowed to have her birthday include George. She hasn’t seen Harriet in 4 years, not since the second hospitalization when her doctor wrote a letter that it was in my niece’s best interest – to put it simply. At that time, as a family, we decided to cut George out for the time being as well, with the approval of her new attachment therapists. The reconciliation, if you can call it that, between Penelope and her dad has been over many months. She has seen her dad maybe 5 times since November and talks for about 20 minutes every Saturday over the phone. Before that it was emails back and forth for several months using me as the messenger/screener. This is the first attempt at reconciliation that hasn’t been a complete disaster since 4 years ago.
With that said, both Harriet and George just crapped all over this young lady’s birthday in their own special ways. Harriet called George crying and wanting to speak to her daughter. You may wonder "Why didn’t she call you, her guardian?" Because she knows I would say no. Not because it would be the wrong thing to do for so many reasons (she is dealing with a high level of stress as it is, let’s walk before we run, and .. most importantly.. she is still really really angry with Harriet for what she has done) but for a much more deluded reason that includes my stealing her daughter (who must have bipolar disorder like her, not RAD because she didn’t do anything wrong!) from her and brainwashing her into thinking her mother is a horrible person. George, before I got to my parents where we were having the celebration, answered the call with Penelope standing there knowing why Harriet was calling. Which I didn’t find out until we were leaving. Probably one of the main reasons Penelope regressed to about 7 emotionally, the age she was right before she came to live with me. Her behaviors towards her dad were sexualized. And he ate it up. My mom, who is his biggest defender, even told him to knock it off. I ended the evening short and became the bad guy. He goes "Daddy’s gotta go bye bye now." Really?? I turned to my Mom and said "Mommy. Your daughter’s gotta go bye bye now" with puppy eyes. She just chuckled uncomfortably. Not a mature response on my part to his actions but better than walking into the kitchen and grabbing a knife and stabbing him multiple times.
Penelope was already outside with the dog waiting for him to leave. He was taking his time. When I was walking him out the door, I found out about the phone call from Harriet. I chastised him for answering it when his daughter was there. He likes upsetting Harriet when he can, "forgetting" how it could affect his daughter. When her dad finally drove away, I asked her how she was and she said she was on the verge of tears, very emotional. Not because he left but just raw to all the stress. Within the 60 seconds after he left, she said these things going from 7 yo to her own age emotionally. Amazing. The dam did eventually break, about 10 minutes later, and she did end up crying her eyes out. Nice way to finish a birthday. I keep telling myself "Could be worse. Has been worse." I hate her parents.
