The weekend

I've been keeping Penelope busy this weekend - since her visit with her father and her fit she had later that night against Grandma.
I spoke to my both my parents, separately, today about the event. My dad said that he went upstairs for a minute and all of a sudden he heard Penelope and my mom yelling at eachother. By the time he got there to find out what was going on, Penelope had already ran into the bathroom crying. It goes along with what Penelope said about my mom yelling at her. Unfortunately the mother isn't mature enough to admit that she yelled at Penelope, but I told her I know that it happened. She knows she "can't handle it" when it comes to Penelope. The things I tell her to do and how to approach Penelope, just are not things she is capable of. She admits it, but then when she talks about her relationship with Penelope like Penelope targets her for this behavior. "She would never have done it front of your father." She is right, but she thinks it's because she is George's mother. I told her "No, she doesn't see George as having done anything wrong so why would she look to blame anybody for how he turned out?" Obviously that is an internal issue my mother is having. But I was blunt and honest with her. I said "It's because she has done these "tests" and you have failed them. Like you said, you 'can't handle it.' And because of that, she doesn't feel safe with you. She feels like she can be the boss when it's just the two of you. That's why you can't be with just her for now." She looked a bit stunned, didn't question it, and may have been pissed about it, but it's the truth and if she wants to blame herself for anything, than it needs to be her selfish need to be the one to fix this her way instead of the right way. The way that obviously has been working for us so far.
Saturday, we scheduled some cleaning therapy. Boy O boy is my parents' bathroom filthy! I am madly in love with Mr. Clean Eraser Sponges but the gunk on the tile floor of their shower isn't budging. We tried soft scrub with two types of scrub brushes - nothing. But anyway! Penelope did some work but after about 30 minutes starting having complaints about her legs hurting her, her back hurting her, upset stomach, extreme fatigue. The ususal. I pushed her and got a little more out of her.. It was all good. I already knew from that morning that she was having a bit of anxiety from her visit. She said she was having a hard time breathing. Nothing major, not painful, but she could fill a different than normal. It is her anxiety! And the upset stomach, and fatigue. Not surprised. But she was coping very well.
Grandma was there. I had a short and to the point talk with Penelope about being mad at Grandma. I told her, it is understandable - her feelings were hurt. However, she is not allowed to be mean to her. I talk about having honest emotions - not bottle them up or deny them (I don't want her going from one extreme to another in this healing process) but that there are approapriate behaviors even when you want to act out. When we first got to the house, she avoided Grandma for the first few minutes - because she was afraid to accidentally be mean to her, as she explained later. But once she was able to let go of her anger, she was able to be social with Grandma. They both still need to apologize. I've told both of them that, but neither one has taken the step to do it.. yes, the 67 year old still hasn't taken the step. As my dad puts it, he has never seen her apologize to anyone in her life. To be so perfect!
Later that evening, we watched the 2nd Harry Potter movie. The 3 cats snuggled up with us all together. It's our family! I talk to her about our family being unique and include our cats, she loves to picture them that way. She will draw pictures of our family and it's the 5 of us. Very proud of her family.
Sunday, we went to church for the first time ever (except for Easter with my good brother). I've been meaning to find a church for us to go to.. The time for church has been marked off on Sundays on our Weekly Schedule for months, but I just couldn't bring myself to take her to any of the churches in our community. Penelope has a relationship with God that I never had. And I don't want to be the reason why she doesn't nurture that relationship. But I couldn't bring myself to take her to the Baptist church down the street, or the Presbyterian church she goes to tutoring at after school.. I've done the non-denominational thing before. We are not Catholic. George was baptised Catholic when he was 18 but hasn't stepped foot in a Catholic church since. His religious viewpoints became rather extreme - in certain ways and not others. Very hypocritical. Him and Harriet joined the KKK and within a year, he became the Grand Cyclopes of his geographical region. Did I know this, hell no. And one way I few the KKK is an Christian Extremist group. So far off base they feel off the platform. Just like Bin Laden and other religious extremists. So Penelope's religious beliefs are stemmed from certain ideologies I am totally against. I've told her that only God can judge and haven't allowed any predjudice or hateful type things to be uttered toward anyone. She has been around me long enough to be open to new ways of looking at the world and I think I have found the church with the right message.
Oddly enough, it's a church that was mentioned by an online friend and I liked what I heard. It's called Unitarian Universalist. So, after the last few weeks, I have did a little digging to learn more about it. I found it so refreshing and thought maybe this could be what I have been searching for on and off since I was in college. Coincidentally enough, I found a congregation that is 2 minutes from my home, and I pass multiple times a day. I just never knew what UU was or looked into it until it was mentioned by this friend.
So, we went today. Penelope was so excited about going to church! She has asked me several times over the last few months to go to church. She was excited and I was nervous. So we get there and talk to a couple people who were helping "visitors" out. We got name tags and went into the sanctuary. Penelope wanted to sit in the first row! I'm like.. "Well, okay.." But the kids all leave after the first 15 minutes to go to the educational program. I forgot about that. lol. So I sat up there all by myself. It was okay though. I'm just not one who does well in unfamiliar places. But, I observed what went on and I found it so refreshing of a change. No one was telling you that you are inherintly flawed and need to repent, or everyone is bad except for those in that room, or people "speaking in tongues" or doing the hands raised, eyes closed rocking back and forth filled with the spirit. This sermon was given by a long time member of the church who just got his BA in religious studies from a local Catholic university. It was interesting! He talked about the similiarities and differences of Catholisism and UU but also how he has grown a great respect for the Catholic religion. No bashing? None. We will be going back.