School Rehearsal

I kinda look at this week as being a couple of rehearsal days of school will be starting next week. School in our area started on Thursday so there were only two days. This is probably very helpful for Penelope in the grand scheme of things. Helps her transition better. I already blogged about the day before school being rough on her stress and anxiety level. I picked her up from school and she was majorly grumpy. I don't even remember what she started complaining about - I think it had to do with what space I chose to pull the car into at the curb. But it came out quickly that the real issue is that she felt sick with a bad headache. She kept complaining about something smelling bad but I couldn't smell anything. Migraines do run in our family and it really sounded like one. But we had her weekly AT appointment an hour plus away. By the time we got there she was "car sick" and said she threw up in the bathroom. I am always suspicious of her claims to vomiting because she can do it whenever she wants to. Usually it's for attention purposes and usually when she is having a bad day. But today she didn't have a bad day, she loved everything about her day. But she was able to get through her brain training while I spoke with the lead AT. She had been out of town on and off so I filled her in on how Penelope's anxieties have been super high and it just seems like with camp ending and school starting that it's only getting worse. I made the decision there to get a face to face with her psychiatrist to evaluate her RAD "cocktail" for any possible adjustments. I try to be reasonable about my expectations of medicine but when all else fails, and she needs help, then we get that help. But I worry about the long term affects... My goal is to be able to wean her off of most of it, but it seems we only seem to increase things. I just have to remember that it's not been that long.
So anyway, I also told her about the second therapy appointment for George and how it went south and I yelled at the therapist. She was proud of me LOL. But I agreed that I'm not going back. I don't need that headache. She wanted to know if I had heard from Harriet and I told her about the text message conversation we had a few weeks ago, specifically how she is "trying" to get in with a therapist. It's been over a year now since Harriet had seen her daughter and she knows that she has to see a therapist before she can see her per the treating psychiatrist at the hospital. I have a hard time having an opinion on that because part of me hates being this limbo "when... when is she going to get to see Penelope again and is it going to be the way recommended by the medical professionals or is she going to force it legally?" and then the other part of me doesn't care if Penelope never sees Harriet again, because just like George - to ask "when" is giving the situation hope, like she is ever going to go to a therapist.
I did call today and ended up getting in within the hour with Penelope psychiatrist. He doubled one of her mood stabilizers. She takes 3 different ones. This one affects her anxiety level. One affects her rages and the last one affects her depression. Then on top of that she takes the highest dosage allowed for children of an ADHD medication. The two mood stabilizers she takes at night have sleep aid qualities but we top it off with OTC Melatonin and maybe even some benedryl. She does have bad allergies so I don't feel bad about that. You would think after that list of meds that she would be a walking zombie and the perfect child, wouldn't you? It just takes the edge off and makes her functional. You should see her during the first and last hour of the day. I haven't told her yet that her least favorite pill has been doubled. It's hard enough to get her to take her pills in the morning. She plays with them, drops them on the ground, acts like she threw them across the room etc. It's better though, she used to make herself throw up by grossing herself out about her breakfast, which comes before pills so she isn't taking them on an empty stomach. She will decide one day that the milk in her oatmeal has soured and start gagging at the table and that would be the end of it. Mold on toast, poison in her apple juice.. you name, she has created it, all in an effort to vomit. So now, she gets breakfast granola bars. I didn't cook it so I couldn't poison it - plus I was tired of wasting food and clean dishes for her to not eat it. About the issue with her pills.. For whatever reason, reverse psychology works here. Usually it doesn't. "Fine, I don't want you to take your pills today." "But I need them!" "Are you sure? It doesn't seem like you want them." "I want them! I want them!" "Then take them and quit playing around." LOL