Monday, August 3, 2009

This week it will be a whole month in "Happyland"!!

Not that it hasn't had it's hiccups, but do we expect perfection from mentally healthy kids? I'd hope not! The whole throwing the tv remote hard enough at Grandma to leave a bruise (she bruises easily anyway) was totally not acceptable. But she has really worked through that well. She has been full of anxiety and depressed, clingy, sensitive, hyper-vigilent, but you can see her working hard at staying strong. She also has been winning the battle with herself to not need to be the boss. I think that is huge. I'm very proud of her. I think that alone, helps her stay in "Happyland." It's when she tries to be the boss that she totally is miserable.
She is looking forward to school this year. She isn't looking forward to school work as much but she has a positive outlook on it. I need a good month of school before I will be able to feel good about how she is going to do, although I have a good feeling about it. The two things that are going to be her biggest challenge is 1) mean kids/bullies, and 2) how she perceives her school work. She is still behind but is smart and with the right attitude, and support, will be able to surpass her goals.
She wants to join Chess Club again. She lost that priviledge of being a member last year when she decided to leave their weekly meeting halfway through, leave school property and walk to the library and call George, knowing she isn't allowed to talk or see him, tell him her Chess Club meeting had been cancelled and the school was all locked up and she'd been waiting outside for over an hour needing to be picked up. She was really testing all the adults in her life to see how much control of them she could be. But that was 7 months ago. She is so different from then. I told her we needed to see how school goes first, and when they start looking for members again, we would look at it then. But to know that the deciding factor is going to be if she is strong enough and has earned that priveledge.
I also talked to her about possibly being given the priviledge of walking to school this year. Again, she will have to demonstrate her strength and earn the responsibility. She really wanted to last year, but it was going to be over my dead body. I didn't throw that out there because she might have considered it! But almost all the kids in the community walk to school. It would be good excercise for her too. It's probably a mile walk. I would want her to have someone to walk with also.. positive peer pressure. Lots of options there. Like I said, everyone walks. Between 7:45 and 8:15am during the school year, the sidewalks are packed with kids and parents (of the primary school kids). But it will depend on who she is friends with that lives around us. There are a couple of kids I can think of but their friendships have been tarnished by Penelope's need to push away people that care about her. I need to make contact with her one friend's mom. Maybe see if she would like to have lunch or something sometime. They really care for Penelope but she has really done hurtful things to their son. I know that they will be friends again someday, and I know that his parents are openminded and compassionate people that see the good in Penelope. I will have to do that. It will be hard, but I do care about them too. I think it will be good for everyone.
This will be a good year I think.

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