A few days ago, I spoke about this program that her school has put Penelope in called RTI, Response to Intervention. I had a lot of questions, and her one teacher was able to fill me in on the how the program works. I expressed my concerns and at no time were those concerns addressed, but just more information about how beneficial this program is to the participants. I get that. I am not questioning that. Based on tests/assessments, kids who are identified with deficits, are put into the program at what level their assessments identify them at. Then they participate in the associated "Labs." There are continued assessments and at the end of each quarter it is determined if the particpant needs continued intervention, increased intervention, or can be removed from the program all together.
The problem with this program is that it feeds right into Penelope's need to make life easier, not better. Her therapists feels it's not good for her. They talked about her tendency towards "learned helplessness." I was trying to get the school to understand that. Finally, this past Friday I sent an email letting her know that the therapists recommend that she be pulled from the program and that I agree. She responded letting me know that she would talk to the Principal and either he or she would contact me. No call Friday and no call Monday. But I found out that Penelope was still in the program. So I sent another follow up email letting her know that I hadn't heard from anyone, "do I send in something in writing?" But that I may have not made myself very clear in the prior email. Penelope is not to be sent to another lab. I like her Intervention Specialist and am giving her the benefit of doubt that the strong pushback is not coming from her. She is respecting my stance, even though she may or may not agree that Penelope shouldn't be in the program. But the issue has been elevated to the Principal and really is out of her hands. I quickly got a response from the Principal letting me know he feels that Penelope should be in the program based on her reading and math data and if I still disagreed, would like to meet. I responded that I still didn't want her to particpate, gave a short explanation and asked for him to view it from my perspecitve. I also stated that I didn't disagree with anything they have said about what a great program it is, or that Penelope has deficits. But, it's not the right approach for her, specifically - due to her emotional disturbance (to use their word). So, through a couple more emails, we set up the meeting time.
Now, mind you, Penelope doesn't really know this stuff. She knows I'm questioning whether or not this is right for her, but I haven't shared how oppositional it's gotten. Even after I found out that they still took her out of class and put her in the lab AGAIN - after I said specifically not to. That pissed me off. It probably doesn't help that I just had to deal with my twin brother and the family crap, but then to have them try to push me around - well they don't know who they are messing with! I was glad that I had 24 hours to get myself in check and decide what I was going to do about it. My initial instinct was to hold her out of class until we had this meeting. It's was a power stuggle and I was going to win. But I knew that would only hurt Penelope. So, I sent a note in with Penelope that said she is not to go to lab and had my number if anyone had questions. I didn't expect to get the reaction it got but that's for a little later.
So, I had asked my dad to go to the meeting with me. I didn't think I "needed" him but just to show how serious this is for us. But I am so glad he went. My anger was still too on the surface to be as articulate as I wanted. I'd want to say something but felt the tears want to come so I'd shut my mouth. But, we met with the Principal and the Intervention Specialist. And, I will say, I like both of them. I wish the Principal was more open minded. I guarentee he wishes I was too. But I like him because we want the same thing. Penelope to have success. We just see her route there differently. He understood our explanation of her tendencies and all that but he questioned how they related to his program. He wanted to have a "wait and see" plan as to whether it would cause her to regress. I told him I'd already seen it start and gave examples. But I do believe, my word isn't good enough - I don't want it to work. I'm not credible. I saw it on his face.
I talked about her tutor helping her and my dad and I talked about the improvements and what has contributed to it. That she is improving and we want to rely on her tutor. The principal talked about the program and said that she will not get the intervention outside of this program. In other words, the work Penelope's tutor does for her isn't at the level or that she doesn't work on the things Penelope needs. I thought that was a bit presumptious but I know how strong he feels about the program. The principal asked me, "Do you believe she has deficits?" I said "Yes, I just wonder to what extent. She is hard to pin down." They went over her testing and assessments from this month and detailed her deficits. I didn't argue with them. I said that we were aware of the specific reading deficits, and so is her tutor. But it was pretty clear, the Principal's agenda was still focused on the program as being Penelope's solution. I tried to continue the conversation in a productive manner. I said "So with all this information, what we need to do is come up with a solution to address her deficits, understanding the limitation that it has to be outside of the school day, not in this program." The principal didn't like that. He started asking the IS what classes specifically she was missing and all that. He was now wanting to negotiate how many days she goes to this program. That was his solution - compromise. "What if she goes once a week?" I didn't know how to respond to that. He wasn't getting it. My dad interjected at this point - I was too pissed. The things I wanted to say were things that had been floating around in my head since yesterday "Have you ever had a child, face red and puffy from crying for hours beg you to end their life? To put them out of their misery? They don't deserve to live? No? Then maybe you should shut up and learn something." But, I knew better of it. But my dad said something similar that was more appropriate. He said in a very matter of fact manner, that they haven't seen what happens when she has regressed. She has threatened to kill herself, she has threatened to kill her mom.. She has thrown things, punched.. She has an alarm on her bedroom door. It's just not something we are willing to risk - her regressing." I interjected and said, "We have sacrificed a lot to get her here... we can not allow it." I was thinking about how we are pushing visits with George off to allow her this time to get strong and be successful. Why would we ask her to sacrifice that but allow something like this? No way. Even though my dad and did the talking and didn't go into details, I still got emotional but kept it together. I told him that I thought, and if someone could come up with a better idea - great, that if the information from assessments and what not was passed on to her tutor, that we should best utilize her skills to help Penelope. The principal heard what we had to say but he at this point said that he was concerned about the fact that I brought Penelope into it, by sending her with the letter that she is not to be in the program. What kind of message that sends to Penelope. That he is afraid that she will regress from that. That if she was to regress, THAT would be the reason. He was pissed this time. I told him that she doesn't know what has been going on, she just knew that I was questioning whether the program is right for her. Not that I had a problem with the program. "But see," and I'm sure I had daggers in my eyes, I said "I am her legal guardian, her parent. When I send an email that specifically says to not send her to lab, and my direction is ignored, then my ability to advocate for her has been denied. I am not in her school. She is the one that comes here and she has to advocate for herself." He understood but continued to express concerns about sharing with her our disagreements. That she could use that to manipulate to seperate. I told him that is not something I would ever do. I told him that she never knew about all the problems "And you know about allll the problems" we had last year. I always presented things like a united front. The Principal wanted it to be presented to Penelope that we all agreed that removing her from the program was best for her. No problem. I told him that I've always told her how much I like her teachers. That even after Open House, I told her that her favorite teacher (tutor/4th grade teacher) had competition for being her favorite. And that of course, Penelope told her favorite teacher what I said, which made them laugh. But that her teacher said "No one can compete with me!"
We left the meeting agreeing that we would consider relooking at it at the end of the quarter, that they would see if she was improving with her tutor - since the principal doesn't think she can do it - and we were to keep an open mind to the program. I said that as she gets emotionally stronger, she will be able to deal with these tendencies better and she may be strong enough to deal with the program.
We ran into Penelope's 4th grade Math teacher who Penelope liked very much. She is also the Math Lab teacher for this RTI program. She was very warm and friendly and wanted a hug. She talked about how great Penelope is doing, definitly compared to last year. She knew we were meeting today and asked how if Penelope was still in it. I said "No, but not to do with anything her or the program. It's just the way that she percieves the program and her emotional health. It's just not the right thing." My dad interjected that we were going to reconsider down the road blah blah blah. She understood and said over and over that even though she isn't Penelope's teacher anymore she wants to here how she is doing and told us good we have done with her. It was so good to hear that after that meeting.
No comments:
Post a Comment