It's amazing how different this school year has been so far compared to where she was at last year. It feels like this is how it will be... from now on. When she is like this, it feels like forever since she was not functioning as well, being defiant, lying, manipulating etc. But, something happens that brings up back to reality. For now, I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts.
She has been on time every day so far this school year. She does her homework with practically no prompting. She has decided she wants to go the Homework Room that her school offers to kids after school for a quiet place to do homework. It's not tutoring so she has to be self-motivated in order for it to be a benefit. This wasn't an option last year. This is her second day going to Homework Room. She did call me today because "I have a Social Studies test on Friday and I don't know what to study? What should I do?" I reminded her of the conversation we had about going to the Homework Room, "If you are working on something and decide you don't know what to do or have too many questions to continue, just put it aside and do something else, like your reading. If all else fails, just spend the time reading" since she has to read every night for homework. But I also said that if someone is there that is in her class, she could ask them. She agreed. She ended up being 20 minutes late because she ended up working with her teacher who was printing off a study guide for her that she didn't get a chance to print today because of printer problems. She is learning how to become resourceful! On her own even. None of this perceived/learned helplessness crap she pulled last year.
She did have a little bit of an issue yesterday with this girl. I don't think I've given some of her classmates pseudo names so I'm going to call her friend, Mary and the bully Abby. Mary used to be Penelope's "BFF" two years ago. Last year, Mary became friends with Abby when Penelope missed 5 weeks of school when she was in the hospital and her intensive therapy program. Obviously not on purpose, Penelope did leave Mary alone at school for that time. She found Abby. Abby is a very strong minded loud spoken girl, and a bit older than she should be. Mary is on the shy side and petite. Abby decided that Penelope is not allowed to be Mary's friend. It created a lot of issues last year, and Abby has decided to continue this approach with Penelope. However, towards the end of the school year last year, Mary started sticking up for herself and Penelope - but is still scared to cross that line with Abby. But they have gotten into fights about it.
The other backstory piece to share is that at the beginning of the year, I told Penelope that I think she is getting strong enough that maybe this year she can start walking to school. Something a lot of the other kids have been doing for over a year now. Our community is small enough the majority of the kids either walk or get dropped off. She wants to walk. I told her that I need to see one good month of good attitude and effort with school in order to get to walk to school. Well, she is doing a great job so far, but she has called me 3 times already from school this year wanting to walk to so and so's or stay after with so and so. Well, yesterday was one of those times. Penelope wanted to walk over to the library with Mary. It's just down the street, but a deal is a deal. I didn't return her message. I've also told her not to call me to ask those kinds of questions because - a deal is a deal. Anyway, I forgot that we had discussed her being allowed to go to Homework Room - plus we didn't discuss it that morning. So I go to pick he up at the normal time and she isn't there. I immediately think, "She went ahead and went to the library. The temptation was too much." She has a tendency to leave these very desperate pleading type of voice mails. So I call her friend Mary to see if she is with her. Mary answers and says that she is not, that she went to Homework Room. I said "Oh, okay because she said something about wanting to go to the library so I wasn't sure. Thank you!" I was releaved. She made the right decision!
About a minute later, my phone rings and isn't Mary's number. Wierd. I answer. The person says "Is this Penelope's Mom?" "Yes it is... Is this Mary?" She says, "No, it's one of Mary's friends...Is Penelope there?? I have NO idea where she is!!!" I said "No she is not....Do you want me to have her call you when I see her?" She said "Oh.... sure" and starts to hang up. I said "Wait, I need to know who this is so I can tell her to call you." She says.. "Oh... yeah.. It's um.. Abby." I said "Okay Abby. Bye." The little shit was trying to get Penelope in trouble! I wanted to call her mother. I'm so tired of this little shit hurting or trying to hurt Penelope. I've been trying to let Penelope and Mary sort this out themselves. Ugh.
I told Penelope about it after I picked her up but I told her that she didn't have to worry, she wasn't in trouble. I commended her for making the responsible decision. She did the right thing! But this little Abby chick needs her attitude adjusted. Well, Penelope told me that she confronted Abby and told her that she shouldn't have tried to get her in trouble and that "My mom isn't stupid and saw what you were doing" and that I was going to call her mother. She said Abby doesn't want me to call her mom. Mary told Penelope that Abby took the phone from her, that she wasn't a part of it. Good for Penelope! Hopefully that is what happened. Penelope's anger is a hard thing for her to control but she knows the right thing to do and wants to do it. But from what she said, Mary is very upset with Abby for being so mean. Good!
On one hand, I have sympathy for Abby - kids like this can't be happy. But on the other hand, they need to be put in their place.
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