Long weekend did good I think

Penelope improved throughout the weekend I think. I think she needed that extra day off that she got today. Thank you Jewish Holiday.
Yesterday she had a fun day in that she went shoe shopping with Laurie, her tutor. Just the two of them. And then I met them at the movie theater to see the movie Fame. Definitly up Laurie's alley. I think it had some important messages that Penelope could learn from. Just because you don't like what someone says, doesn't mean they are trying to be mean - a teacher telling a dancer before graduation that he isn't good enough. Also, if you want something, you have to work for it - a girl actress who didn't have any natural talent but wanted to be good and was able to get there. A boy actor who had a very rough childhood who needed to not allow it to limit him and his dreams - let down the walls. Thanks Laurie for the invite! Then we went to my parents for dinner and Penelope got her one on one time with Papaw. Very good for her.
Today, Penelope finally did some reading. She pretty much stopped a few days ago. She decided she didn't want to read the book she was reading and didn't know what she wanted to read - and pretty much didn't want to read. You have to understand, when she first started reading this book, she loved LOVED it and told everyone she ran into about how great and funny this book is. She'd rather sit in the library reading her book than go to recess etc. I briefed Papaw on the situation and he had a word with her and got her to continue to read her book. When I told her that her time was up (a minimum of 30 minutes) she continued to read until the chapter was over. It's a page turner for her so I really wasn't understanding why all of the sudden she wasn't interested in reading it anymore. Hopefully we have her back on track.
Today she was well-behaved and fun and we did silly things. We had to go to the pet store to get food and litter for the cats. I prepared her by announcing we were ONLY buying food and litter. She gets a bit crazy in stores, and I wasn't sure how it was going to go. But I knew being close to Halloween, they were going to have stuff so I was trying to save us both some agony. But we had fun looking at the funny cat hats/costumes. But she was good! Excepting no as an answer.
I decided we would go to the Half Price Bookstore to see if we could find a book for me to read to her at night. I started reading to her at bedtime around April and we've gone through a few books but then she stopped being interested in my reading to her a few of weeks ago - wanting to go right to sleep. Okay... But then, I noticed her evenings haven't been as easy as they usually are. I think it calms her and mentally prepares her better for a good night sleep. It's also a great opportunity for bonding. I don't feel as close to her when I don't read to her at night. Tonight I read to her. She loved it. I think the break had her appreciate the reading more, because before, she was constantly wanting to do something else while I was reading. I always felt that was rude, she should be paying attention. Anyway, I had her full attention tonight.
After the bookstore we met up with Grandma who wanted us to ride with her over to the other side of town to put a realtor sign in a new client's front yard. We had Papaw's pickup so it's the three girls in the front. We had fun. I drove - which is a good thing. Grandma at 67 driving while constantly using her blackberry to talk or email is a very dangerous thing. Penelope had the 80s station on and dancing in the center seat. Grandma is being a grandma asking stupid questions. She said "Doesn't Mommy look like me?" I said "Say no." Grandma laughed and said "I heard that!" I laughed, then Penelope said "Actually, ... no, she doesn't." Which made my mom and I laughed out loud. Penelope is such a pleaser sometimes. My mom said "What about her eyes?" Penelope started looking at my eyes so I crossed them and turned my head towards her. "Do I have Grandma's eyes??" She started laughing. She went on about how I have Papaw's eyes and I said "Yeah! And his hairy eyebrows too! Yuck!" and then we started talking about all his out of place hair and sometimes you just want to pull it. Molly and I recommended she pull it while he's sleeping. Then my mom went on to say that I have her nose before skin cancer surgery. Penelope started looking at my nose so I started wiggling it. And Grandma said "She doesn't have Papaw's ears." Penelope looked at my ears and I said "I can't wiggle my ears. Sorry." She laughed and we all tried wiggling our ears. We went on like that and had fun. It was a good time. She was loving it.
But about an hour after we got home, Penelope and I had a disagreement and she was pretty angry with me. It was over her having to read. She didn't want to do it. I told her she could do whatever she wanted, I wasn't going to make her read. Usually this gets the desired results but sometimes it also ticks her off too. I was doing dishes and when I was done, I went to check on her. I found her with her chalkboard in her hands and she didn't want to show me what was on it. That always concerns me so I insisted. Basically, she wrote at the top that her "Goal" of to make me understand why I made her mad. She had 3 options to choose from as to how to read this goal of hers. The first one is to have a conversation of us switching roles "If you were in my shoes and I said this, how would you feel?" so she can show me how what I said makes her feel. The second option was to try to get me in trouble so that I would be upset and know how she feels. The third was to yell and scream at me to let me know how she feels. I told her I could tell she was trying to process her anger and tried to have a open constructive conversation with her. She was yelling and near tears and I listened and repeated things back to her to make sure I understood what she was saying. She calmed down and then finally agreed that I was right. Her issue was that I said she could play for another 10 minutes but then she really needed to get on her reading. She felt 10 minutes wasn't good enough. She decided to go with option 1 and tried to find out how I would feel if she was me and told me I only have 5 minutes to play but have to read for like 1 or 2 hours. Obviously I wouldn't ask her to read that long and her emotions were getting the best of her. But I knew if I didn't answer her question I would fuel her anger. I said "I'd be upset since, if I were you, I'd never read that long before and didn't have to read that long." She said "See?!" I said, "I see you asking me how I felt about a scenerio I never asked you to do and wouldn't." She saw the flaw in her thinking. But then she went on to say that she wasn't going to play ever again since I don't want her to play. Obviously her beef was that 10 minutes is too short. I told her I didn't understand what she wanted. "Just a minute ago you were complaining that I never remind you to read, but then when I say something today, you get upset with me and accuse me of not wanting you to play. What do you want me to do, remind you or not remind you?" She said "I don't know...." She calmed down after that. It was kinda sweet/endearing to see her go through these thought processes demonstrating her young mind wrapped up in her frustration not making a ton of sense. I knew what was going on with her and knew she just needed to calm down. She needed to be reminded that I wasn't trying to be mean. I found the 3 options concerning but also a start to analytical thought. I blame Mrs. Brown! :) Later that evening before bedtime, I said "Oh, by the way, option 2 is not an option." She said, "You weren't suppose to read it." I said "I understand, but option 2 is out." So is option 3 but I'd rather her yell than be malicious covertly. That thought scares me. She is super creative. That is usually a good thing.
But, I still think it was a good weekend. Hopefully it continues to get better. We see her therapists this week and it just seems like forever. It's not like they can work miracles but hopefully they can help me understand where we are in all this. I hate feeling ineffective in this whole thing.