Visit with my Brother

My dad called me early yesterday and told me to go ahead and head over to my twin brother's house - that he will pick up Penelope from school and hang out with her until I get home. I gathered my things and went over his house. My niece and nephew greeted me with open arms. They are so sweet. My niece, who is 3, wanted me to play in their toy room with her. She wanted to play beauty salon. We played for like 45 minutes. Then I told her I had to go check on her daddy. He was watching TV with his son, who is 5. The house was a mess, worse than I'd ever seen it. Ususally it's rather clean, sometimes laundry folded on the sofa and toys on the floor but now, the sink was overflowing, trash everywhere etc. It was pretty obvious how depressed my brother and my sister-in-law is. Especially my brother. Every time I talk to him, he says how he is in a bad or funky mood. Like he is trying to say it's just at that moment, but it seems like he is always in that mood. So, I just started cleaning beginning in his kitchen. He didn't want me to but didn't really stop me either. I told him I know exactly where he is and I wish I had someone to clean my house when I couldn't muster the energy. He ended up taking a nap while I cleaned. I set the kids up on NickJr. on the computer while I worked around them. Anything I can do to help him feel better will make me feel better too. He offered me to stay for dinner. My sister-in-law got home from work. I was nervous about seeing her. I hadn't talked to her since that night and before she knew. My brother has kept reassuring me she was okay with me but I still worried. But she was just the same with me as she has always been. Before I left, we did have a good heart to heart and we both cried. She said she doesn't hold any ill will towards me at all. She doesn't blame me at all. She just feels so bad for me because of all that I have sacrificed to take care of Penelope and here we are. Is it enough? How much more can I go on? I hear her and have had the exact same questions. But I told her that I have made this commitment to be her mother and the catch 22 is that her progress with her RAD is based on this commitment. If I were to abandon her, we might as well as commit her. She would become a psychopath. She was there once. But I get it, I don't know how she could have done what she has done with all the work and progress we have done. What's next? I talked to her about their interest in having her hospitalized or locked up. She said that she just doesn't know if Penelope can get better anymore. That it's hard to think it's safe for her not to be locked up. I told her that I understand that and from my conversations with my brother and how we feel, we just have so many questions. I am going to keep looking for the best treatment plan for her regardless what that is with the understanding that the most important thing is safety - hers and others. We will just have to see.
I did get a call today from the clinic I called from the referral list. We have an assessment schedule for next week at which point they will tell me treatment options for Penelope. They refer patients to different agencies for help. She said there are all kinds of treatment programs. In home therapy, intensive in home therapy, partial hospitalization and others. I don't know what they entail but I guess I will learn soon enough. That makes me hopeful. Spending the day with my twin brother and his family also helps a great deal.
Today is attachment therapy day so I will see how we are going to proceed with that therapy and see what Beth has to say after having a week to think about our last appointment.