I am sick to my stomach. My niece Penelope, who is 12 years old, believes in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, fairies, and sleeps with two stuffed animals and a blankie, molested her 5 year old nephew this weekend. She did this with her 3 year old niece watching. My sister-in-law invited me to go to a scrapbooking party and my brother was staying home with his kids and would watch Penelope too. Needless to say he is struggling with feelings of guilt. What happened came out when he was getting his kids ready for bed and discovered his son's underwear was inside out. My nephew made a few alarming statements to explain why and then Penelope was questioned. She wouldn't tell her uncle but knew she was caught and was so upset she threw up. However she was more upset about how sick she felt and that now she won't get to see her cousins again than about what she did. I tried to explain to her how it was against the law but she didn't seem to understand why, even though she knows enough to know it is wrong. This morning she woke up and acted like nothing was wrong. I had her stay in her room and she seemed to understand but then she wanted to know why she "still" needed to stay in her room.that she "hasn't done anything wrong" which I immediatedly explained how that wasn't true. But I needed her to stay there because I needed to make calls to figure out what to do.I did get in touch with her lead therapist who is going to call me tomorrow to check their schedule to get her in asap. She also said that the incident needs to be reported. I assume she means the police. I know my brother and his wife want to report it to the police but my brother agreed to let me do it once I talk to Beth again so I can get clarity on what to do and what is going to happen.
I couldn't stay here by myself with her so I took her to my parents. She spent the majority of her time in the guest room playing her DS. We let her because it was hard to look at her or interact with her. My dad, her papaw, couldn't even talk to her and wouldn't sit with us at dinner.
Penelope could tell we were not happy with her but acted like everything was fine. She has no clue how her actions have affected our whole family. I don't know if I can do this.
7 comments:
I'm so sorry. Please remember this is not your fault. And you all are exactly right to report this to the police. Let's hope they will be able to get Penelope and you the extra support you need to get through this.
Oh I am so sorry. I cried during this, you feel so help less I am sure and are just lost.
Hang in there, that is the best I can say. It will be another long road that you will have to travel.
What does that mean extra support? What happens? I do feel completely defeated. I really thought she was doing so much better and we were passed this part of her conscience development. That she wasn't this sick. We had plans for her. I had plans for me. Maybe I was kidding myself when thinking I can help her.
Oh my, I can, and can't, imagine exactly how this must feel...I know when Cherry had a forced sexual encounter while in acute care, I felt like I didn't even know her anymore. I really hope that you can pull through this difficult time. You have made SO many positive strides with her and have devoted yourself to her in a way that I admire. I hope that her therapists are able to offer you some sound advice and I'll be thinking of all of you.
I am new to your blog. I have 2 kids with RAD (ages 9 and 10) and 2without RAD. I know how devastating it is when something like this happens and I just wanted you to know my heart goes out to her. I know this is difficult for you especially because she cannot understand the significance of what she has done. This is part of her disorder too (not excusing it but conscience development takes oh-so-long to develop). What steps can you put in place to help her/others now that this has happened? To keep others safe but also her.
I don't have lots of answers but am happy to be a sounding board if it helps you out. You can get my email from my blog.
Sending you good thoughts and wishes in this devastating time.
Thank you everyone for your supporting words. It means a lot. Mrs. Roma, I know exactly what you mean when you say you felt like you didn't even know her anymore. This is not the child that I have known. I honestly see glimpses of the child that used to hit me with her savage eyes full of fear and hate. She acts happy all the time. I asked her tonight "Why are you so happy?" She said "I'm not happy." I said "Why do you seem happy?" She said "I'm just hyper." She whistles all the time, she wants to joke and sing songs. But then she asked me "Has there been any Presidents that have been killed?" I said sure, and started with Abraham Lincoln. She wanted to know what happened, but when I told her she just wanted to know where he was shot- what body part. That was a bit unsettling.
If I wasn't on alert before, I sure am now.
I am also a new blogger/reader. I have a 9 year old that touched a younger child in school when she was 6. They never were able to figure out WHO started the game, it was back and forth, but I had to take her out of the school system and homeschool her to keep her and other children safe. For the last 3 years, she has not alone with other children. This last year, I have seen marked improvements in this child. I know sometimes it feels like you don't know if you are making any progress, but hang in there! You are doing all the right things for her, and it was not your fault! My thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue to deal with the fallout of her trauma.
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