Ballsy Smurf!

It's almost comical. But when I really think about it, it pisses me off. These types of things are why I have become so cynical. I try to go into a situation and assume the best, but it's hard when shit like this happens. People and their agendas.
I received a text message from George to give him a call. Know that George and I hardly speak - it just makes things easier. Our parents keep him up to date with what goes on with Penelope. So I call him. He sounds excited as he just got done with his therapy session. I originally thought he was talking about his physical therapy and he had good news about his workers' comp injury. Oh, no no no.. not the case. He is still going to his therapist who is helping him with the issues he is having from not getting to see Penelope. His therapist has a name of a psychologist that Penelope should go to. He wanted to give me the person's name and number for me to call. He wasn't asking me what I thought, or if I would - he was telling me to. I had a lot of questions - generally WTF! and even though my knee-jerk reaction was to yell I didn't. When I asked why she was referring Penelope to another therapist, if this therapist is suppose to replace Penelope's attachment therapists or to be in addition to them, he hmm-hawd (sp?) and started to say "Penelope still has anxieties" but then stopped and said he didn't know like this was all out of his control and he didn't have an opinion about it. I asked him if it was his idea or his therapists idea. He seemed relieved by this question - like it was his out. He said "It was her idea." I said, "I guess I need to call your therapist to find out what this is all about then." He hesitated on that thought but didn't try to stop me. But before I was to get off the phone, he insisted I write down the name and number. Yeah, like it doesn't matter to him - right.
So I call his therapist. Her name is Marion. She is this very short petite old lady who teases the shit out of what hair she has left on her head making her look like a bobble head. She is so old school with her "What would you like to talk about today?" it's no wonder that she doesn't question George's crap and buys it for it's face value. She is also so fake in her politeness. My call is connected with her and I tell her "I just talked to George and he said that you gave him a name and number for a psychologist Penelope should go to... but he doesn't know why and said that it was your idea." Is that putting her on the spot and throwing George under the bus at the same time? I hope so. She stuttered a little but covered for George and said that she knows this psychologist and it came to her that he would be able to help Penelope. I said "But Penelope already has two therapists AND a psychiatrist." She pointed out that she knows the psychiatrist is only for the pills and stressed that her guy is a doctor, not a LISW like the ATs and that he is in the city, so we wouldn't have to travel so far away. So, obviously, that answers one of my question - this guy is suppose to replace the attachment therapists. I told her that the distance isn't an issue. When I went looking for attachment therapists, I couldn't find any very close, but a few months ago I came across one that is like 10 minutes from my house. We still do the hour drive because the distance isn't a deal breaker for us. We have done a lot of work with them, and we have made a lot of progress. She pointed out AGAIN that this guy is a PhD Psychologist - "more qualified." I asked her "So are you saying that her therapists are qualified to provide her the help that she needs?" She says, "I'm not saying that, I just know he can (and I wrote this down so I had it verbatim) give her what she needs to bring out her issues to resolution." I said, "So you don't feel that Penelope's issues are being addressed to resolution?" She says "I'm not saying that. In my opinion, if it were me, I would want what is best for Penelope. And (again, wrote it down) in my opinion you should definitely give it a good try with a psychotherapist for a considerable amount of time. She needs psychotherapy." I told her that Penelope has had several psychotherapists, even Psychologists, over the years and they never helped and she only got worse. Her therapists now are the first to really help her. She has improved so much. She says "I heard she is better, getting good grades and all that, but he's a doctor that has worked with lots of kids like Penelope." I said "So he works with kids with reactive attachment therapy? Kids that have been abused and neglected?" She said "I don't know what their diagnosis are but he has worked with kids that have been abused and neglected. And these kid really like him. He is very popular." Not that I was actually considering it, but that was it for me. It's not a popularity contest. Penelope doesn't go "Yeah! It's Thursday and I get to go see my therapists!" She is questioned and held accountable. They are caring and empathetic but they don't let her run the show or just tell her what she wants to hear. They tell her the truth. Something you can measure everything else against, something stable and finite, something you can rely on. The truth.
I wanted to yell again - but what does that help. Maybe it would have made me feel better, but my yelling at her would just make me out to be the crazy irrational little sister George likes to paint me out to be and maybe only fuel Ms. Therapist's motives to support George's crap that he has fed her. So I didn't yell at her. EVEN after she said "I just want what is best for Penelope, don't you?" Yeah, I didn't yell at her. I ended the conversation with "I will think about it." She wanted to make sure that if I do decide to call her "friend" to say that she referred us. Something about getting in faster. Whatever. She doesn't want what's best for Penelope. She has never met Penelope! She doesn't know what Penelope needs. She only knows what a big winy bitch George is. She isn't the first person to fall into his little web of "I want I want I want I want!" He is relentless with his crap that most people tend to just give in to make the pain of listening to it stop. Why do you think I used to hang up on him so much!? Because you can't get off the phone with him otherwise, not until you cave. So it's Cave vs. Hang Up. I hang up. In person, you don't have that luxury, which is where he has driven so many of people crazy. There are too many examples to go through.
But my thought is how totally unprofessional is this!? She used to call up Penelope's therapists and "on behalf of George" to try to get them to commit to a scheduled visitation. That was in addition to George calling. Somehow they got her lead therapist to cave and make a committment before talking to me. I was pissed (you can read about it - it was in June). It backfired. Penelope suffered - which in turn meant I suffered. I even went to two of HIS therapy sessions to explain why George doesn't get to see Penelope right now. That's why I know what the old smurf looks like. I explained the history with Harriet and George, and the sexual abuse and the step-mom, and all of it. I explained Penelope's behaviors and events, the regressive and defiant behaviors after seeing George. The sexual video tape she made after the first visit that was pushed on us. Do I know why she regresses and become violent and acts out sexually after seeing her dad? No. I'm not an expert, just the beaten down Aunt/Guardian/Mom. She acted like she understood, but she really didn't. She doesn't understand RAD. Nothing she has ever faced before. But in her eyes, George is suffering so he needs to see his daughter. "She'll get over it." Yeah, she said that. So, from her perspective, because nothing happens at the one hour supervised visits, and seeing her dad wouldn't cause permanent damage, just inflame and prolong her suffering, and eventually she'd get over it, he should get to see her. But after those two visits that were total flops I shut down anymore visits "until she is strong enough" however long that takes. You needed your "let's try and see" and you got it and it went bad. So they've been quiet for 3 months. And then, now this - let's send her to a psychologist because attachment therapy IS working, but not at the speed George or his therapist wants.
It's been one year last week that Penelope has been in Attachment Therapy. I think she has made miraculous progress. To have gone through all that she has and be as emotionally healthy as she currently is, is nothing short of a miracle. The balls. Those are some big smurf balls.
The thing is, and George nor his therapist knew this, but I have plans to have a visitation. I think Penelope may be strong enough. There are some things going on right now, that I want to see how she handles but if they go well, I had already talked to my dad and Penelope's therapists about scheduling a visit. I am not this mean person trying to keep him away from his daughter. But, we have to be careful because it is the beginning of the holiday season. That alone will be hard for her. So we have to do this right so that she has the right support and makes the right coping decisions.
But this kind of crap just speaks volumes to whether George is ready to see his daughter. I did call Penelope's lead AT and told her what happened. She was pissed about Smurf's balls, but also saw the red flags with regards to George being ready. This lady is not helping the situation. So, we are going to bring George into attachment therapy to try to talk some sense into him since this lady has been fueling his agenda.