What am I going to do with this child? This morning I received a call from the Asst. Pricipal's office. Penelope had to serve detention last Friday for tardies she had accummulated the prior several weeks. During the detention, an 8th grade girl was at her locker, unlocked it, got some things from it, left it ajar while she went into a classroom or bathroom briefly. This is what the tape from the video camera that was recently installed in this hallway showed. Then it showed Penelope walking down the hall, stopping at this girls open locker, Penelope reaching in, into this girl's backpack and pulling out her cell phone, then walking off. Penelope just stole this girl's cell phone!
The Asst Principal is telling me this and letting me know that he had just finished watching the tape. Penelope will be serving one in-school suspension day tomorrow. He also informed me that the parents of this student had called the police and filed a report. He doesn't know if they will be filing charges or not. He does have to call the police and let them know he knows who stole the phone.
I will be picking Penelope up from school. She doesn't get out until 4:00 today because she earned herself another detention for tardies last week.
Is she trying to go to jail?
She committed this crime Friday. She had a good weekend, I even took her bowling and we went for milkshakes, just her and I. She did all her chores, was relatively pleasant to be around. Is that glimness?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Hunt for "Home"
I haven't posted in a couple of weeks but I have been on reading and commenting on other blogs. I just couldn't write my own with where my head was. It has been all over the place. My level of stress has come to a breaking point where I have been having some serious highs and lows. Lows and highs, as I'm writing on a high note.
As you know from an earlier post, Penelope has been struggling with letting go of control. I debated putting her back on Soup Kitchen but feel like any behavior modification method like that will continue to last only as long as it's in place, as long as she continues to be with my parents as much as we are in this temporary situation. Even with that I still want to hold her accountable for her actions but it's grown into a constant cycle of - poor decision -> consequence. With my stress level and my own emotional struggles it's been hard to be "Happy Mom =D" and come up with fun things to do and spend quality time with Penelope. I know I need to and I've started doing small things with her like reading a chapter a night from a book she likes. I want to do something with her this weekend that is fun, maybe take her bowling. Anyway, she is constantly testing her boundaries at school and at home but fluctuates from mild to moderate, mostly moderate - but not severe so somewhat manageable for the time being. She follows rules until they are an inconvienence. Then it's "But I wanted to....!" and you tell her something and she says "No it isn't!" Because she knows better than I do on this issue? I'll ask her that too. She will reign herself in with those obvious questions. And she gets irritated easily and it's lots of huffs and "Fine!" and "Yes!" and I'll say "Can you say 'Yes' saracastically now" and she will say "Yes" in a normal tone and I'll just laugh. The lies.. oh my. It's contant and consistant. Especially at school. Her mountain she made out of the lies related to classwork/homework finally came to a head and she had a great deal of making up to do. We've been there before but it's been a while. She had shut down finding anything and everything to do except what she was suppose to, lying about "forgetting" her homework at home while at home she said she "forgot" it at school. The tardys started to add up and she finally got the detention she needed. The Asst. Principal called her in to give it to her and it was suppose to be served on Tuesday - but she told him she had therapy on Tuesday. LIE. He said "Okay then, Thursday." She said "I have therapy then too." That is true. He tells her to have me contact him to find out when she can serve her detention. She doesn't tell me until the next night. I get a call from him the following morning telling me how Penelope has therapy on Tuesday and Thursday and...- believing what she had told him. After he stopped talking I told him the truth.
Her therapy is on Wednesdays and Thursdays and she knows that. He said that detentions are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays and we both agreed this was obvious attempt to get out of detention. But they also have Friday Study which is longer than detention so worse. I said that she can serve it then. He said he'd be talking to her about her lie. Now she claims he never did but I doubt that. Then later that day I received a call from the school nurse because Penelope spotted her shorts from being on her period and needed a change of clothes. My dad had to bring them to her but while he was on his way, I received another call from the nurse stating that Penelope was feeling hot so she took her temperature and she has a 100.9 degree temp and that she will need to be picked up instead. About two hours later I get a call from Penelope at home letting me know that she layed down for a half hour and that Papaw took her temperature and it's normal now. She said "I know what it is. It happens every year around this time. It's allergies. I get since for a couple of hours with a fever and then it goes completely away. It's so wierd! But I feel completely fine now! Can I go play with the neighbor?" Seriously? No. I tell her no and why and she starts crying and getting angry and telling how mean I am and that I never do anything for her. Everything I do is for me. This really upset my Dad who overheard the conversation and got on the phone and told me he'd handle it. My parting words were "Calm her down first before you address the issue." About an hour later I get a call on the house line from Penelope using her baby-talk. She first apologized for yelling at me. Then she went into how Papaw yelled at her and was being mean. Typically I wouldn't allow this type of talk but she also talked about how she was feeling - like everything is her fault (she claims Papaw told her everything is her fault which I don't believe but can see him say something similar with all the stress he's been under with her and I). He even accused her of tricking the nurse into thinking she has a fever. It is strange that she had a fever for a short time with no other symptoms. But overall she felt genuinely hurt by her Papaw. I told her that Papaw loves her very much and is upset with her because he loves her and has seen her make better decisions for herself. I know he is getting beyond his limits. It doesn't help that Penelope had to stay home with Papaw for 24 hours due to this phantom fever. I called the nurse and told her how she was fine and also that she really didn't spot her shorts. We agreed that the best thing to do now is for the nurse to check her. I told her "You have to validate everything she says. Don't take her word for it." We agreed that her temperature must have been from either a hormone fluctuation or her not drinking enough water. It was super hot. Papaw had her due some chore therapy. When I got home the next day she was happily mopping his garage floor.
Unbeknownst to Penelope, I've been trying to find our new home. The deadline to be out of our house was October 1st. I'm surrendering it to the bank so it doesn't foreclose. Originally a month ago I started looking for a one bedroom apartment figuring that I could convert the living room into my room so Penelope had a door with an alarm on it. I found several dumpy looking 4 families in not so great areas of the school district I want to stay in. But I've learned that legally, no one is allowed to rent to us a one bedroom apartment. My parents talked and said they'd help me get a two bedroom! I cried when my mom told me. I am so blessed to have them. We set up showings for this one apartment building. It sounded nice. Large rooms, hardwood floors, tall ceilings. This little old man owns the building and shows up the place. OMG what a dump! My crappy old apartment in college was nicer than this place. It was filthy, the windows were desperately needing to be replaced and the plaster walls needed a lot of work and repair. Most importantly, there was no way Penelope would feel safe there with all her paranoia. And I look at every apartment with the "can she climb out her window" criteria and at this place, the answer is "easily." There were two apartments on the market. One we found out the next day was taken. The other one the woman on the voicemail wouldn't call us back! My mother called and left a couple message along with my couple of messages. NOT Looking good. Very stressed, very depressed, feeling very guilty for not being able to "hack" my career with Penelope's needs. Then there was a duplex that came on the market with two bedrooms. My dad and I went and looked at it. It was great! A few cons but would work great. Had a private basement with own washer/dryer and a room to be Penelope's playroom. Only 1 bathroom but nice galley kitchen. Then found out it was $150 more than we wanted to spend a month. UGH! My area is about 20%+ higher valued due to the schools. My dad tried to negotiate with him with 6 months in advance (whatwhat?) but the man said he'd have to think about it. I fell in love with the place. It was very clean and had new windows so the utilities would be reasonable. The 1st level with the living room, dining room, and kitchen was all hardwood floors. Penelope would feel safe in her room adjacent to mine. A week goes by and nothing. My dad calls to see if the man had made up his mind. Also, the topic of cats. THREE to speak of. Didn't come up when we were there when the money topic came up. The man said I could have my cats! I was sweating this because I really wanted this place. The man had to discuss it with his wife as my Dad offered to pay another 6 months in advance after 6 months. Then a couple of days later the man called and said that his wife didn't want to have cats in the house. So that ended that...
My Mom who is a realtor started looking at condos for sale to see if anyone would do a lease to own or land contract with me. We found this one that was beautiful! The kitchen and bathrooms were so updated and the bedrooms were huge. It was on the second floor and I felt that Penelope would have felt safe there. It was in the same price range as if we were renting a two bedroom, taking into consideration HOA fees. The issue was I needed to be out by October 1st and could they be out by then? It was like 2 weeks away. They had a LOT of stuff. A teenager and new baby in this 2 bedroom condo. Oh yeah, need to know if their HOA allows cats but seriously, why wouldn't it? You own your condo. We find out the HOA doesn't allow ANY pets. Seriously?? So my Mom sets up an appointment with this apartment complex, the only commercial complex in the whole "city" that I live in. It's huge and would work except they will only take 2 of the 3 cats. It's very cold and commerical though. And the kitchen and bathrooms were sooo dated and warn - but would work. Ugh.
We decided to look at one last condo. It's one we have seen but from the pictures and everything, it didn't look like much. If we decided we didn't like it, we were going to go with the apartment and maybe sneak the last cat in, I don't know. The condo turned out to be wonderful! Yes there were things dated about it, plus the woman that lives there painted flowers all over the bathroom walls and her bedroom, but it has so much great potential. It has a room that would be a perfect home office right off a nice size entry with a large "closet" perfect for the cats with it's own window! She keeps her cat's things in there herself. The home office is stated as the dining room so it's not like it's small and it has double doors that lead into it. Perfect for my plan of starting my own consulting business that someone is going to help me do - but that's for a later post. Then there is a living room AND family room. The living room would be the perfect dining room instead with a fireplace and a (dated) wet bar nook. The living room is large with a long balcony with large double doors on it. Penelope would have her own full bath that has a wall between the vanity and tub shower and toilet. The vanity cabinet has all these little drawers in it that she will love with a place to put a vanity stool. Then the Master bedroom is huge! with 2 storage closets and a large walk-in off a vanity area. Then the tub shower and toilet is a seperate room adjacent. The floor plan is high end in my opinion. Things just need updating but that's okay! The thing that totally sold me is that Penelope's room has a full wall of closets with built in shelves for all her things AND the ceiling has a white on white wall paper that is end to end stars.
The room looks small but it's not. It's 14 x 12 feet big. Both her twin beds, her dresser and tall bookshelf, her Papazan chair and night stand will fit fine.
I picture taking her into her room with her eyes closed and making her lay flat on the floor looking up, then having her open her eyes. I think she will love it.
I hope so because it's going to be hard enough.
We asked if she'd be willing to do a lease or land contract. She wasn't interested because she's moving to Mexico. My AWESOME parents said they'd go ahead and buy it. That it would be better than throwing money away in rent and then after a couple of years, I can buy it from them when I repair my credit. My dad joked that he is willing to do anything to get us out of the house. We told the seller's agent we wanted to put an offer in but wanted to get a pre-approval first. When my mom talked to one of her mortgage broker she knows, the issue became that the banks want at least 10% down. That is a lot of money! They were only planning on putting 5% down. Somewhere during that day my mom had talked to my dad and told me that they weren't able to do it. I was so disappointed but understood. They do sooo much for me as it is. When I got home that evening, I was visably disappointed but they knew I understood. My mom said to my dad right in front of me, "They need 10% down, can we do it?" He said "Heck, we have $ in savings, so I guess we can." and walked out to the porch. I stood there stunned looking at my mom. She just made a "There is hope yet!" expression. I started to tear up. I had this overwelming urge to hug my Dad and thank him. I followed him out the porch and came up behind his chair and hugged his neck and started crying thanking him. He started crying too. He tried to lighten the moment by joking that my twin brother will want him to buy his house now. I ignored him and thanked him again. I had to walk to the side to collect myself before I could go back in the house because Penelope was there. I went straight to the bathroom to make sure because she always calls me out when I look like I've been crying. She wants to know what's wrong and gets pretty assertive about it. The next day my mom finds out that the problem now is that they already own a home nearby and it would be considered investment property. Investment property requires a 25% down payment. Now, this amount is impossible. UGH! Another mortgage broker tells her to try to make it so they are moving to this condo and leasing their house to me. So she tries that and it works! But now my parents will be moving with us for the time being, or we are going to have some kind of arrangement. My mom stays with us alot as it is to help out so it's not that big of a stretch. But we found out last night that the contract and it's timeframe has been accepted! Now, just have to figure out when to tell Penelope. My mom wants me to wait until the loan goes through, just because in this market she has seen it happen too often - but usually because the buyers hide something or do something stupid like go buy a car during the process throwing off their income to debt ratio and credit score.
As you know from an earlier post, Penelope has been struggling with letting go of control. I debated putting her back on Soup Kitchen but feel like any behavior modification method like that will continue to last only as long as it's in place, as long as she continues to be with my parents as much as we are in this temporary situation. Even with that I still want to hold her accountable for her actions but it's grown into a constant cycle of - poor decision -> consequence. With my stress level and my own emotional struggles it's been hard to be "Happy Mom =D" and come up with fun things to do and spend quality time with Penelope. I know I need to and I've started doing small things with her like reading a chapter a night from a book she likes. I want to do something with her this weekend that is fun, maybe take her bowling. Anyway, she is constantly testing her boundaries at school and at home but fluctuates from mild to moderate, mostly moderate - but not severe so somewhat manageable for the time being. She follows rules until they are an inconvienence. Then it's "But I wanted to....!" and you tell her something and she says "No it isn't!" Because she knows better than I do on this issue? I'll ask her that too. She will reign herself in with those obvious questions. And she gets irritated easily and it's lots of huffs and "Fine!" and "Yes!" and I'll say "Can you say 'Yes' saracastically now" and she will say "Yes" in a normal tone and I'll just laugh. The lies.. oh my. It's contant and consistant. Especially at school. Her mountain she made out of the lies related to classwork/homework finally came to a head and she had a great deal of making up to do. We've been there before but it's been a while. She had shut down finding anything and everything to do except what she was suppose to, lying about "forgetting" her homework at home while at home she said she "forgot" it at school. The tardys started to add up and she finally got the detention she needed. The Asst. Principal called her in to give it to her and it was suppose to be served on Tuesday - but she told him she had therapy on Tuesday. LIE. He said "Okay then, Thursday." She said "I have therapy then too." That is true. He tells her to have me contact him to find out when she can serve her detention. She doesn't tell me until the next night. I get a call from him the following morning telling me how Penelope has therapy on Tuesday and Thursday and...- believing what she had told him. After he stopped talking I told him the truth.
Her therapy is on Wednesdays and Thursdays and she knows that. He said that detentions are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays and we both agreed this was obvious attempt to get out of detention. But they also have Friday Study which is longer than detention so worse. I said that she can serve it then. He said he'd be talking to her about her lie. Now she claims he never did but I doubt that. Then later that day I received a call from the school nurse because Penelope spotted her shorts from being on her period and needed a change of clothes. My dad had to bring them to her but while he was on his way, I received another call from the nurse stating that Penelope was feeling hot so she took her temperature and she has a 100.9 degree temp and that she will need to be picked up instead. About two hours later I get a call from Penelope at home letting me know that she layed down for a half hour and that Papaw took her temperature and it's normal now. She said "I know what it is. It happens every year around this time. It's allergies. I get since for a couple of hours with a fever and then it goes completely away. It's so wierd! But I feel completely fine now! Can I go play with the neighbor?" Seriously? No. I tell her no and why and she starts crying and getting angry and telling how mean I am and that I never do anything for her. Everything I do is for me. This really upset my Dad who overheard the conversation and got on the phone and told me he'd handle it. My parting words were "Calm her down first before you address the issue." About an hour later I get a call on the house line from Penelope using her baby-talk. She first apologized for yelling at me. Then she went into how Papaw yelled at her and was being mean. Typically I wouldn't allow this type of talk but she also talked about how she was feeling - like everything is her fault (she claims Papaw told her everything is her fault which I don't believe but can see him say something similar with all the stress he's been under with her and I). He even accused her of tricking the nurse into thinking she has a fever. It is strange that she had a fever for a short time with no other symptoms. But overall she felt genuinely hurt by her Papaw. I told her that Papaw loves her very much and is upset with her because he loves her and has seen her make better decisions for herself. I know he is getting beyond his limits. It doesn't help that Penelope had to stay home with Papaw for 24 hours due to this phantom fever. I called the nurse and told her how she was fine and also that she really didn't spot her shorts. We agreed that the best thing to do now is for the nurse to check her. I told her "You have to validate everything she says. Don't take her word for it." We agreed that her temperature must have been from either a hormone fluctuation or her not drinking enough water. It was super hot. Papaw had her due some chore therapy. When I got home the next day she was happily mopping his garage floor.
Unbeknownst to Penelope, I've been trying to find our new home. The deadline to be out of our house was October 1st. I'm surrendering it to the bank so it doesn't foreclose. Originally a month ago I started looking for a one bedroom apartment figuring that I could convert the living room into my room so Penelope had a door with an alarm on it. I found several dumpy looking 4 families in not so great areas of the school district I want to stay in. But I've learned that legally, no one is allowed to rent to us a one bedroom apartment. My parents talked and said they'd help me get a two bedroom! I cried when my mom told me. I am so blessed to have them. We set up showings for this one apartment building. It sounded nice. Large rooms, hardwood floors, tall ceilings. This little old man owns the building and shows up the place. OMG what a dump! My crappy old apartment in college was nicer than this place. It was filthy, the windows were desperately needing to be replaced and the plaster walls needed a lot of work and repair. Most importantly, there was no way Penelope would feel safe there with all her paranoia. And I look at every apartment with the "can she climb out her window" criteria and at this place, the answer is "easily." There were two apartments on the market. One we found out the next day was taken. The other one the woman on the voicemail wouldn't call us back! My mother called and left a couple message along with my couple of messages. NOT Looking good. Very stressed, very depressed, feeling very guilty for not being able to "hack" my career with Penelope's needs. Then there was a duplex that came on the market with two bedrooms. My dad and I went and looked at it. It was great! A few cons but would work great. Had a private basement with own washer/dryer and a room to be Penelope's playroom. Only 1 bathroom but nice galley kitchen. Then found out it was $150 more than we wanted to spend a month. UGH! My area is about 20%+ higher valued due to the schools. My dad tried to negotiate with him with 6 months in advance (whatwhat?) but the man said he'd have to think about it. I fell in love with the place. It was very clean and had new windows so the utilities would be reasonable. The 1st level with the living room, dining room, and kitchen was all hardwood floors. Penelope would feel safe in her room adjacent to mine. A week goes by and nothing. My dad calls to see if the man had made up his mind. Also, the topic of cats. THREE to speak of. Didn't come up when we were there when the money topic came up. The man said I could have my cats! I was sweating this because I really wanted this place. The man had to discuss it with his wife as my Dad offered to pay another 6 months in advance after 6 months. Then a couple of days later the man called and said that his wife didn't want to have cats in the house. So that ended that...
My Mom who is a realtor started looking at condos for sale to see if anyone would do a lease to own or land contract with me. We found this one that was beautiful! The kitchen and bathrooms were so updated and the bedrooms were huge. It was on the second floor and I felt that Penelope would have felt safe there. It was in the same price range as if we were renting a two bedroom, taking into consideration HOA fees. The issue was I needed to be out by October 1st and could they be out by then? It was like 2 weeks away. They had a LOT of stuff. A teenager and new baby in this 2 bedroom condo. Oh yeah, need to know if their HOA allows cats but seriously, why wouldn't it? You own your condo. We find out the HOA doesn't allow ANY pets. Seriously?? So my Mom sets up an appointment with this apartment complex, the only commercial complex in the whole "city" that I live in. It's huge and would work except they will only take 2 of the 3 cats. It's very cold and commerical though. And the kitchen and bathrooms were sooo dated and warn - but would work. Ugh.
We decided to look at one last condo. It's one we have seen but from the pictures and everything, it didn't look like much. If we decided we didn't like it, we were going to go with the apartment and maybe sneak the last cat in, I don't know. The condo turned out to be wonderful! Yes there were things dated about it, plus the woman that lives there painted flowers all over the bathroom walls and her bedroom, but it has so much great potential. It has a room that would be a perfect home office right off a nice size entry with a large "closet" perfect for the cats with it's own window! She keeps her cat's things in there herself. The home office is stated as the dining room so it's not like it's small and it has double doors that lead into it. Perfect for my plan of starting my own consulting business that someone is going to help me do - but that's for a later post. Then there is a living room AND family room. The living room would be the perfect dining room instead with a fireplace and a (dated) wet bar nook. The living room is large with a long balcony with large double doors on it. Penelope would have her own full bath that has a wall between the vanity and tub shower and toilet. The vanity cabinet has all these little drawers in it that she will love with a place to put a vanity stool. Then the Master bedroom is huge! with 2 storage closets and a large walk-in off a vanity area. Then the tub shower and toilet is a seperate room adjacent. The floor plan is high end in my opinion. Things just need updating but that's okay! The thing that totally sold me is that Penelope's room has a full wall of closets with built in shelves for all her things AND the ceiling has a white on white wall paper that is end to end stars.
The room looks small but it's not. It's 14 x 12 feet big. Both her twin beds, her dresser and tall bookshelf, her Papazan chair and night stand will fit fine.I picture taking her into her room with her eyes closed and making her lay flat on the floor looking up, then having her open her eyes. I think she will love it.
I hope so because it's going to be hard enough.
We asked if she'd be willing to do a lease or land contract. She wasn't interested because she's moving to Mexico. My AWESOME parents said they'd go ahead and buy it. That it would be better than throwing money away in rent and then after a couple of years, I can buy it from them when I repair my credit. My dad joked that he is willing to do anything to get us out of the house. We told the seller's agent we wanted to put an offer in but wanted to get a pre-approval first. When my mom talked to one of her mortgage broker she knows, the issue became that the banks want at least 10% down. That is a lot of money! They were only planning on putting 5% down. Somewhere during that day my mom had talked to my dad and told me that they weren't able to do it. I was so disappointed but understood. They do sooo much for me as it is. When I got home that evening, I was visably disappointed but they knew I understood. My mom said to my dad right in front of me, "They need 10% down, can we do it?" He said "Heck, we have $ in savings, so I guess we can." and walked out to the porch. I stood there stunned looking at my mom. She just made a "There is hope yet!" expression. I started to tear up. I had this overwelming urge to hug my Dad and thank him. I followed him out the porch and came up behind his chair and hugged his neck and started crying thanking him. He started crying too. He tried to lighten the moment by joking that my twin brother will want him to buy his house now. I ignored him and thanked him again. I had to walk to the side to collect myself before I could go back in the house because Penelope was there. I went straight to the bathroom to make sure because she always calls me out when I look like I've been crying. She wants to know what's wrong and gets pretty assertive about it. The next day my mom finds out that the problem now is that they already own a home nearby and it would be considered investment property. Investment property requires a 25% down payment. Now, this amount is impossible. UGH! Another mortgage broker tells her to try to make it so they are moving to this condo and leasing their house to me. So she tries that and it works! But now my parents will be moving with us for the time being, or we are going to have some kind of arrangement. My mom stays with us alot as it is to help out so it's not that big of a stretch. But we found out last night that the contract and it's timeframe has been accepted! Now, just have to figure out when to tell Penelope. My mom wants me to wait until the loan goes through, just because in this market she has seen it happen too often - but usually because the buyers hide something or do something stupid like go buy a car during the process throwing off their income to debt ratio and credit score.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Charges Dismissed
So yesterday was the big court day that was going to let us know what direction we were going with this trial. There were three main options. 1) Penelope found competent and the trail move forward, 2) Penelope found non-competent again and the charges dismissed, or 3) Penelope found non-competent, my brother show up for the proceedings and announce his wishes that Penelope be prosecuted. She was found non-competent and my brother told our Dad that he would not be going to the hearing simply because he doesn't want to be in the same room as Penelope. He never wants to see her again.
Some might think I would be jumping for joy. If you know the story, you would understand why I am not. Yesterday was a very emotional day for me and not a happy one. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the charges are dismissed. Not because I think she doesn't deserve to be charged, but because the system doesn't work in a way that would punish Penelope in a way that would help her. It's been 9 months since the offense, and we still hadn't even got to the charges yet. Penelope, and the whole family including my brother and his family have been in this monthly cycle of starting to heal and then a monthly hearing comes up and the wound is re-opened. It's going to take a long time for these wounds to heal, if they ever do. Our family is broken. I don't necessarily agree with my brother about where Penelope is mentally. But I do not judge him or think less of him for having the opinion he has.
Yesterday was a day of mourning in my eyes and heart. It was the funeral, the event that marks the demise of our family - as it was. It has been dying for a while now. But there was hope for recovery. George isn't permitted to see Penelope but that is temporary. Once there were a great deal of healing, the family would be reunited - not perfect by any means. What's been done has been done, but healing. We are suppose to forgive George for what he did to Penelope - I struggle with this everyday. Because I struggle with that, I can't think less of how my twin brother stuggles with forgiveness for Penelope. I also am feeling so much sadness for my brother and all his conflicted emotions he is dealing with and how it hurts his heart. Family is so important to him and now his is so damaged. And he carries around so much guilt, so much regret and hate and an overall feeling of being a failure. He failed as a father and a husband. Too much burden to carry. We try to have a good relationship still but it's hard. Penelope needs me so much and with my hours, everybit counts for her. I try to see my niece and nephew but it's so hard. Even with this, we still try. We try to talk at least once a week but what do we talk about? I don't talk to George unless it's necessary. He calls me more than anything and ususally it's to complain about his insurance, workers' comp claim, or wrongful termination suit. I really don't care. My poor parents. They are both so done with Penelope and I. Mostly Penelope. They love her very much but my Mom has never been good with her. She either yells and lectures her or buys her things. She even has resorted to paying her to be good. My father tries and usually does well, but his level of frustration with her is reaching it's limit. Part of it is that he gets mad at my mom for not helping out more with picking her up from school and taking her to appointments. She will flat out say "I don't want to." Then he vents in front of Penelope and yesterday, the day of court for her, he made a comment that was about my mom but also let her know how much of a burden she is. When she is being difficult, he makes comments to me like "This isn't working. We are going to have to find a long term solution for her." I ask him "What's that suppose to mean?" He says "I don't know..." What he means is he is done and is ready to either pack her up for her dad's or find a residential facility. It can get bad but the littler things trigger that reaction for him too now. His tolerance is about gone. I know that he is looking forward us to move out. Trust me, I am too. I don't want to be such a burden on them. But I also need my parents, especially my dad - for the long haul and this is too in their face for them. I'm losing them too.
Some might think I would be jumping for joy. If you know the story, you would understand why I am not. Yesterday was a very emotional day for me and not a happy one. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the charges are dismissed. Not because I think she doesn't deserve to be charged, but because the system doesn't work in a way that would punish Penelope in a way that would help her. It's been 9 months since the offense, and we still hadn't even got to the charges yet. Penelope, and the whole family including my brother and his family have been in this monthly cycle of starting to heal and then a monthly hearing comes up and the wound is re-opened. It's going to take a long time for these wounds to heal, if they ever do. Our family is broken. I don't necessarily agree with my brother about where Penelope is mentally. But I do not judge him or think less of him for having the opinion he has.
Yesterday was a day of mourning in my eyes and heart. It was the funeral, the event that marks the demise of our family - as it was. It has been dying for a while now. But there was hope for recovery. George isn't permitted to see Penelope but that is temporary. Once there were a great deal of healing, the family would be reunited - not perfect by any means. What's been done has been done, but healing. We are suppose to forgive George for what he did to Penelope - I struggle with this everyday. Because I struggle with that, I can't think less of how my twin brother stuggles with forgiveness for Penelope. I also am feeling so much sadness for my brother and all his conflicted emotions he is dealing with and how it hurts his heart. Family is so important to him and now his is so damaged. And he carries around so much guilt, so much regret and hate and an overall feeling of being a failure. He failed as a father and a husband. Too much burden to carry. We try to have a good relationship still but it's hard. Penelope needs me so much and with my hours, everybit counts for her. I try to see my niece and nephew but it's so hard. Even with this, we still try. We try to talk at least once a week but what do we talk about? I don't talk to George unless it's necessary. He calls me more than anything and ususally it's to complain about his insurance, workers' comp claim, or wrongful termination suit. I really don't care. My poor parents. They are both so done with Penelope and I. Mostly Penelope. They love her very much but my Mom has never been good with her. She either yells and lectures her or buys her things. She even has resorted to paying her to be good. My father tries and usually does well, but his level of frustration with her is reaching it's limit. Part of it is that he gets mad at my mom for not helping out more with picking her up from school and taking her to appointments. She will flat out say "I don't want to." Then he vents in front of Penelope and yesterday, the day of court for her, he made a comment that was about my mom but also let her know how much of a burden she is. When she is being difficult, he makes comments to me like "This isn't working. We are going to have to find a long term solution for her." I ask him "What's that suppose to mean?" He says "I don't know..." What he means is he is done and is ready to either pack her up for her dad's or find a residential facility. It can get bad but the littler things trigger that reaction for him too now. His tolerance is about gone. I know that he is looking forward us to move out. Trust me, I am too. I don't want to be such a burden on them. But I also need my parents, especially my dad - for the long haul and this is too in their face for them. I'm losing them too.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Soup Kitchen Ends/ update
Well, to try to catch up on what transpired the past couple of weeks. Penelope is off Soup Kitchen. She did her 3 days over the last weekend of August. This is what I wrote in the log I keep for her therapist.
"
Friday 8/27 – Was on time for school. Was exhausted from the week after school. Has been having a little bit of social problems from a bully from the last two years but she seems to be handling it well and claiming the bully isn’t being as much trouble. There is a boy that told her he liked her outfit that she is now smitten with. I asked about him, and she started to describe him but couldn’t. I asked why not? She said "He’s too beautiful too describe." Her behavior was fine but still on Soup Kitchen and only making mediocre effort to get off of it. When I arrived home she was very excited to see me and had just gotten done bathing Grandma’s dogs for money and doing her 30-minute chore. She had scratches and a couple bruises on her arms and legs from washing the dog and was sweaty and wore out. Too tired to read and pick up her room. At bedtime I had a talk with her about maybe taking advantage of the fact she doesn’t have school or anything the next two days and can knock out 2 of the 3 days. She grumbled in response but I left it with that simple statement for her to consider. Talked to my mom about paying for chores and that Penelope could have used bathing the dogs as her 30 minute chore. She had also offered to pay Penelope to go out to a community far away and put up signs as her realtor assistant on Saturday while I was at work.
Saturday 8/28 – In a very good mood. Plans on today being Day 1 towards getting off Soup Kitchen. Grandma told Penelope that instead of paying her she could use today as her 30 minute chore. Except they only put in 1 sign and claim that as 30 minutes! My mom said it was really hard to get in the ground and they had to go get water and everything. So when I asked Penelope "So what all did you do?" She said "I spent 30 minutes putting in a sign…." Aiding and Abetting? I accepted it as I couldn’t question both Penelope and my Mom on the issue. When I met my mom to pick up Penelope from her after I got off work, I heard Penelope being kinda mouthy to my Mom. When Penelope got out of her car, she started to stretch. My mom made a comment to Penelope about hurrying up and getting her things because she was running late. Penelope said "Don’t rush me." Then Penelope must have been sitting on my Mom’s cardigan and instead of apologizing, she told my Mom "You can iron it." When she got in my car, I told her that it’s not acceptable to talk to Grandma like that and she rolled her eyes and said "Whatever…" I said "And it’s not acceptable to bring that into my car as well. ‘Hello. How was your day? I haven’t seen you all day and that’s how you choose to talk to me? Interesting." She then started saying "I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry" and became a little babyish. I told her I don’t want an apology, I just don’t want to see it again. She then said "I was joking. Like ‘Whatever dude!’ haha." I told her I know what I hear and saw. She then said "I was going to ask you for a favor." I said "The answer is no." She started to pout like she was going to cry. I said "I don’t do favors for someone who treats me that way." She apologized again. I changed the subject. But she still wanted to ask the favor. I let her. She wanted to stop at a dollar store (her mother’s favorite place to shop) and spend the money she earned from Grandma. I told her no. She accepted it.
She was able to have all she needed done to have Day 1 done.
Sunday 8/29 – I was home with her alone all day and she was very good and acted of age and normal. She did all she needed to do without prompting and was very proud of her accomplishing Day 2 with what seemed like little effort.
Monday 8/30 – On time for school. Didn’t have her soup thermos. Didn’t know where it is and didn’t seem to care. Gave her a can and a tupperware dish to heat it in with crackers and a drink. Went to the nurse again for headache and stomachache. Her teacher said she believes it’s to avoid class work based on timing. She was assigned a writing assignment to do a one page auto biography in English. She started it but was way below grade level work. It was emailed to me to work with her on it. I forwarded it to her tutor that she saw at 5:30. Penelope struggled with being overwhelmed with what all she had to do with it being Day 3 to get off Soup Kitchen, her writing assignment, math and social studies homework while also not getting home from her day until 7:30. My dad said that she had been working and not goofing off since he picked her up from school. Her tutor told me that during that hour with her, Penelope couldn’t remember the details of her writing assignment to know what was expected and she spent the 1st 30 minutes with Penelope trying to figure it out until she came across a printout of the assignment directions in Penelope’s folder. Then they discussed it and moved on to Math. At which point, Penelope didn’t know what a Histogram is (bar graph) that they learned about in Math class today. Her tutor asked her what were ways she could find out what a Histogram was. Penelope’s response was that her Math book is at home. She is to keep it at home but didn’t have the forethought to bring it with her so she could have it at the tutor’s. Her tutor asked if there were any other ways to find out? Penelope couldn’t think of any. Her tutor felt very frustrated with the lack of problem solving thinking Penelope was portraying when it’s something they have worked really hard on over the past couple of years.
Penelope was still doing homework with I got home at 9pm and seemed very overwhelmed and frazzled. She was sitting at her desk in her room working and looked up at me and said "I’m not going to get it all done and get off Soup Kitchen.. L " I said "I’ve heard how hard you worked today. Today is a skip day. Too much homework to be able to get everything accomplished." But we also discussed when her paper was assigned. I verified with her teacher on Tuesday it wasn’t assigned until Monday due on Tuesday – she apologized saying that it is not normal, it just fell that way in their schedule. I told her I just needed to verify Penelope’s statement to ensure she didn’t lie. A lot was at stake. (Starting back on Day 1 as the paper is really what took up all that time.)
Tuesday 8/31 – DAY 3 COMPLETE – OFF SOUP KITCHEN!!! The only issue we had today is that I was called to school because Penelope had thought her period was over (been on it the past 3 days) and it went through her jeans. Not too bad but she forgot to put her liner in that she is suppose to wear. When I got to school with a change of clothes, she was laying down on the nurse’s bed with a blanket covering her. But she was holding a pad in her hand, and a little boy (probably 5th grader) was sitting in a chair against the wall across from where her feet were. When I came into the room, I was at her feet end and she whipped back the blanket and spread her legs apart so I could see the stain in the crotch of her jeans. "See??" I’m thinking "Yes, and so can this poor little boy right next to me." I looked at her wide eyed and softly said for her eyes/ears only "Penelope! Close them, that boy can see!" We went into the nurse’s bathroom and I reminded her about being discreet. She said I was blocking his view but I pointed out that he can still understand what we were talking about. Something we seriously need to work on.
The deal was, if she gets alllll she needs done before dinner time, she could have dinner with us and we had already agreed Spaghetti was going to be the first regular dinner she can have – at her request. She was done before I arrived home and she was excited and acting fun and silly and HAPPY. There was no babyish stuff either. She did get too full of her self for a minute or two and tried to be a little bossy and I said "Are you TRYING to get back on Soup Kitchen? My goodness! I’d hate to see that!" She said "Oh no no no.. not at all!" and stopped. "
Friday 8/27 – Was on time for school. Was exhausted from the week after school. Has been having a little bit of social problems from a bully from the last two years but she seems to be handling it well and claiming the bully isn’t being as much trouble. There is a boy that told her he liked her outfit that she is now smitten with. I asked about him, and she started to describe him but couldn’t. I asked why not? She said "He’s too beautiful too describe." Her behavior was fine but still on Soup Kitchen and only making mediocre effort to get off of it. When I arrived home she was very excited to see me and had just gotten done bathing Grandma’s dogs for money and doing her 30-minute chore. She had scratches and a couple bruises on her arms and legs from washing the dog and was sweaty and wore out. Too tired to read and pick up her room. At bedtime I had a talk with her about maybe taking advantage of the fact she doesn’t have school or anything the next two days and can knock out 2 of the 3 days. She grumbled in response but I left it with that simple statement for her to consider. Talked to my mom about paying for chores and that Penelope could have used bathing the dogs as her 30 minute chore. She had also offered to pay Penelope to go out to a community far away and put up signs as her realtor assistant on Saturday while I was at work.
Saturday 8/28 – In a very good mood. Plans on today being Day 1 towards getting off Soup Kitchen. Grandma told Penelope that instead of paying her she could use today as her 30 minute chore. Except they only put in 1 sign and claim that as 30 minutes! My mom said it was really hard to get in the ground and they had to go get water and everything. So when I asked Penelope "So what all did you do?" She said "I spent 30 minutes putting in a sign…." Aiding and Abetting? I accepted it as I couldn’t question both Penelope and my Mom on the issue. When I met my mom to pick up Penelope from her after I got off work, I heard Penelope being kinda mouthy to my Mom. When Penelope got out of her car, she started to stretch. My mom made a comment to Penelope about hurrying up and getting her things because she was running late. Penelope said "Don’t rush me." Then Penelope must have been sitting on my Mom’s cardigan and instead of apologizing, she told my Mom "You can iron it." When she got in my car, I told her that it’s not acceptable to talk to Grandma like that and she rolled her eyes and said "Whatever…" I said "And it’s not acceptable to bring that into my car as well. ‘Hello. How was your day? I haven’t seen you all day and that’s how you choose to talk to me? Interesting." She then started saying "I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry" and became a little babyish. I told her I don’t want an apology, I just don’t want to see it again. She then said "I was joking. Like ‘Whatever dude!’ haha." I told her I know what I hear and saw. She then said "I was going to ask you for a favor." I said "The answer is no." She started to pout like she was going to cry. I said "I don’t do favors for someone who treats me that way." She apologized again. I changed the subject. But she still wanted to ask the favor. I let her. She wanted to stop at a dollar store (her mother’s favorite place to shop) and spend the money she earned from Grandma. I told her no. She accepted it.
She was able to have all she needed done to have Day 1 done.
Sunday 8/29 – I was home with her alone all day and she was very good and acted of age and normal. She did all she needed to do without prompting and was very proud of her accomplishing Day 2 with what seemed like little effort.
Monday 8/30 – On time for school. Didn’t have her soup thermos. Didn’t know where it is and didn’t seem to care. Gave her a can and a tupperware dish to heat it in with crackers and a drink. Went to the nurse again for headache and stomachache. Her teacher said she believes it’s to avoid class work based on timing. She was assigned a writing assignment to do a one page auto biography in English. She started it but was way below grade level work. It was emailed to me to work with her on it. I forwarded it to her tutor that she saw at 5:30. Penelope struggled with being overwhelmed with what all she had to do with it being Day 3 to get off Soup Kitchen, her writing assignment, math and social studies homework while also not getting home from her day until 7:30. My dad said that she had been working and not goofing off since he picked her up from school. Her tutor told me that during that hour with her, Penelope couldn’t remember the details of her writing assignment to know what was expected and she spent the 1st 30 minutes with Penelope trying to figure it out until she came across a printout of the assignment directions in Penelope’s folder. Then they discussed it and moved on to Math. At which point, Penelope didn’t know what a Histogram is (bar graph) that they learned about in Math class today. Her tutor asked her what were ways she could find out what a Histogram was. Penelope’s response was that her Math book is at home. She is to keep it at home but didn’t have the forethought to bring it with her so she could have it at the tutor’s. Her tutor asked if there were any other ways to find out? Penelope couldn’t think of any. Her tutor felt very frustrated with the lack of problem solving thinking Penelope was portraying when it’s something they have worked really hard on over the past couple of years.
Penelope was still doing homework with I got home at 9pm and seemed very overwhelmed and frazzled. She was sitting at her desk in her room working and looked up at me and said "I’m not going to get it all done and get off Soup Kitchen.. L " I said "I’ve heard how hard you worked today. Today is a skip day. Too much homework to be able to get everything accomplished." But we also discussed when her paper was assigned. I verified with her teacher on Tuesday it wasn’t assigned until Monday due on Tuesday – she apologized saying that it is not normal, it just fell that way in their schedule. I told her I just needed to verify Penelope’s statement to ensure she didn’t lie. A lot was at stake. (Starting back on Day 1 as the paper is really what took up all that time.)
Tuesday 8/31 – DAY 3 COMPLETE – OFF SOUP KITCHEN!!! The only issue we had today is that I was called to school because Penelope had thought her period was over (been on it the past 3 days) and it went through her jeans. Not too bad but she forgot to put her liner in that she is suppose to wear. When I got to school with a change of clothes, she was laying down on the nurse’s bed with a blanket covering her. But she was holding a pad in her hand, and a little boy (probably 5th grader) was sitting in a chair against the wall across from where her feet were. When I came into the room, I was at her feet end and she whipped back the blanket and spread her legs apart so I could see the stain in the crotch of her jeans. "See??" I’m thinking "Yes, and so can this poor little boy right next to me." I looked at her wide eyed and softly said for her eyes/ears only "Penelope! Close them, that boy can see!" We went into the nurse’s bathroom and I reminded her about being discreet. She said I was blocking his view but I pointed out that he can still understand what we were talking about. Something we seriously need to work on.
The deal was, if she gets alllll she needs done before dinner time, she could have dinner with us and we had already agreed Spaghetti was going to be the first regular dinner she can have – at her request. She was done before I arrived home and she was excited and acting fun and silly and HAPPY. There was no babyish stuff either. She did get too full of her self for a minute or two and tried to be a little bossy and I said "Are you TRYING to get back on Soup Kitchen? My goodness! I’d hate to see that!" She said "Oh no no no.. not at all!" and stopped. "
We had therapy the next day and it was interesting to see Penelope in that therapy session compared to the one prior while she was still on Soup Kitchen. She was acting more mature and happier last session, except when she started crying about the fact she hated being on Soup Kitchen, but it was just that, her strong emotion. She understood and handled it well. However, this past session she was all over the place,back to acting much more immature and anxious, not following directions and required a ton of redirection to keep her on task. But she couldn't recall the prior session and how upset she was and how she said she couldn't do what she needed to do to get off Soup Kitchen. It was interested.
Well, that was last week, and I have to tell you, similar to her behavior in therapy as soon as she went off Soup Kitchen her ability to function smoothly, be mature and age appropriate, responsible, and happy, went slowly out the window. Now, we haven't had any meltdowns or aggression at all which was a huge part of why she went on Soup Kitchen. But still, it's frustrating. She has been lying about homework, purposefully forgetting her writing assignment at home two weeks in a row so she can get more time. But then she still doesn't use that extra time because of the same reason she didn't use the time she had before - she just doesn't want to do the work. She hasn't read since she went off Soup Kitchen but maybe 2 days for a total of 20 minutes. And the litter boxes are cleaned here and there. So, I'm thinking about putting her back on Soup Kitchen. I just haven't decided whether that is the right thing.
I haven't written in a while and it's actually been a week since I wrote what's above. Just a lot going on. I haven't put Penelope back on Soup Kitchen. Even though she hasn't been doing her responsibilities consistently, I have determined she is doing her best under the circumstances. She has improved with the baby talking and accepting no for an answer and that is huge for me. I'm not trying to lower my standards for her, just recognizing that in our temporary situation of court and losing my home (which she doesn't know about yet- not until a new place is found) her spending a lot of time with my parents instead of me because of my crazy work hours in a job I hate... How are either one of us suppose to be any better than where we are?
Plus the school year is still in it's infancy and her one attachment therapist left the agency. Just a lot going on.
Her positives fortunately are that she likes all her teachers, she met a new classmate who she has already made plans to go trick-or-treating with on Halloween, and the bully from the last couple of years has lost her conviction and Penelope is back to being friends with her old BFF Megan.
I'm very happy for her.
She has these roots that we've built in our community that continue to get stronger. The last thing I want to do to her is take away these positives in her life and it is stressing me out.I can't afford much at all where I'm working now. I do miss hours here and there for therapy and court and I keep getting sick because of all the stress so that makes my check worse because there are no paid time off for sick days or holidays. The summary is I need to get a better job. But I fear what is going to happen there with all that is going on at home. I do know that when we get a new place and can continue our roots there, things will get easier for both of us. The last day of my short sale status with the bank is the 18th of this month which is when I have to surrender my house to prevent true foreclosure. This way they won't go after me for my mortgage debt, not that my credit will benefit but I'm just thankful that I won't have the debt. We have to be out by the inspection date which will be scheduled the first week of October. There is a lot to do in a short span because I can't start packing until Penelope knows, and she can't know until we have a new place to tell her about.
I really don't want to sign a lease for a whole year on a 1 bedroom apartment in our community but that is all I can afford. I tried to look into if we could pay tuition temporarily until I can afford a two bedroom. Mrs. Brown referred me to the Public Information Officer in our district. It took a bit to get a hold of her but I told her a little of our story and how I had heard a couple of years ago that tuition from out of district families was being considered. I told her I would just want to do it temporarily because we have full intentions of living there, just rather not sign a lease on a 1 bedroom when it would be better to have a two bedroom for her special needs. I asked if it was something that is an option and if so, how much is it. She said she'd have to ask the Superintendent as she didn't know the answer. But she kept asking me where we were living now. I told her that I still have my home on the street in the district but she wanted to know where we were staying. I told her that we had been staying at my parents over the summer because of the additional help I need with Penelope and it was an opportunity for me to not have them drive to me all the time. She said that Penelope's ability to attend school there is based on "residency." Okay, we have a residence. But that's not what she meant. So she called me back at the end of last week and told me that the Superintendent said that she can't make an exception for me because she'd have to for everyone. Huh? Exception? She went on to say that it's based on residency and even if it was an option, they calculated it to be $50 per day- about $10,000 per year. I told her that it was too much even if it was an option and thanked her for asking (even though I was only asking if it was an option not for an exception) and that now I know I need to move forward with the apartment. I just wanted to know all my options. I was trying to be nice but she was starting to piss me off. Her tone was so condicending and judgmental. She kept saying she felt bad for not having good news for me but in the same breath said she didn't know what my options are (I just told her!) and kept asking about where we were living. I told her we were already transitioning back from the summer. Geesh! THEN she tells me that she will be calling Penelope's school to let them know that I will be submitting a change in residency by the end of the month. She would be calling the guidance counselor who I don't care for by the way. But what the heck? I told her that I've talked to her teacher already and if she remembers, that's how I got her name. I plan on letting them know where our new place is as soon as I get it. I told her I have no intention of not doing the right thing. I would never do that or ask that of Penelope. She said "That's good" but that she was going to just give them the heads up to be expecting it. whatever! I started to get upset because I'd hate to see Molly find out this way after what happened two years ago when I quit my job but she wasn't suppose to know but they told her anyway. I asked for confidentiality as I've had problems in the past with that in that school. My next door neighbor is the school secretary. Her response to that she would call the principal then.
So last week I started looking for 1 bedroom apartments available. I figured that I could put Penelope in the bedroom with an alarm on her door and I would make the living room into my room. Maybe depending on how big the living room is, I could split it. I found one on craigslist for $600/month. I drove around on my lunch breaks looking for "For Rent" signs. I found the one online as well as a bunch of others. They were all old buildings on the outskirts that border bad areas. Depressing. I called my mom and told her what I found. She was planning on heading that way to search the area too. I emailed her the phone numbers and locations. Shortly after I got back to work she called me. She informed me that her and my Dad had talked and decided that they wanted Penelope and I to have a 2 bedroom. I was so relieved and grateful that I started to cry. They know they will only need to help until I get a new job. My mom jokingly said "For my birthday, I want you to have a new job." Her birthday is the 21st. I said "For my birthday too." Mine is the 20th.
So we determined there are 3 apartments in the district that are 2 bedrooms and available. Quickly we learn that 1 is already taken. We scheduled a walk through on another and it's an old dump and so not safe for Penelope. And the last one, we've called numerous times with no return calls. Ugh! And it's on the top of my list. Location - it's 2 doors down from one of Penelope's dearest friends which would be a huge selling point for her, it's second story- so no sneaking out windows, outside looks nice and recorded message makes it sound nice- newly renovated, hardwood floors, 9 ft ceilings, kitchen with bar counter and stools, living room, dining room, bath, large bedrooms, a solarium and balcony. A washer/dryer hook up in the basement. Nice right? She won't return our calls! I suspect she has rented the place out already but then why still have the sign and recording? Running out of options. Then we found one that just went on the market and my Dad and I went and looked at it. Perfect EXCEPT the owner wanted $150 a month more than the others. Plus no heat and/or water included. My mom found it because they are selling the whole 2 family, and they live in the other side. They had the rent listed on the MLS as $100 less than what they are renting it out for now. The man said he had it at that rate for too long. My dad asked him to consider leaving the monthly rate as it was if we paid like 6 months in advance. He said he would consider it but when we parted it didn't seem like he was going too. It was easy to like but I'm at a point I need something. So I am going to start looking at 1 bedrooms again. I need to do something soon! I'm under so much stress right now, my feet are swollen, my head hurts, and I clench my teeth so hard in my sleep that I clang them together when I talk and it hurts. I need relief.
Monday is court. Hopefully the last day of it. That stresses me out too. No idea how the assessment went. Don't think my brother will be there but he may have a last minute change of heart. Would not be good for Penelope as even if he shows, there still is no case but it could be drug out even longer. We will see.
So we determined there are 3 apartments in the district that are 2 bedrooms and available. Quickly we learn that 1 is already taken. We scheduled a walk through on another and it's an old dump and so not safe for Penelope. And the last one, we've called numerous times with no return calls. Ugh! And it's on the top of my list. Location - it's 2 doors down from one of Penelope's dearest friends which would be a huge selling point for her, it's second story- so no sneaking out windows, outside looks nice and recorded message makes it sound nice- newly renovated, hardwood floors, 9 ft ceilings, kitchen with bar counter and stools, living room, dining room, bath, large bedrooms, a solarium and balcony. A washer/dryer hook up in the basement. Nice right? She won't return our calls! I suspect she has rented the place out already but then why still have the sign and recording? Running out of options. Then we found one that just went on the market and my Dad and I went and looked at it. Perfect EXCEPT the owner wanted $150 a month more than the others. Plus no heat and/or water included. My mom found it because they are selling the whole 2 family, and they live in the other side. They had the rent listed on the MLS as $100 less than what they are renting it out for now. The man said he had it at that rate for too long. My dad asked him to consider leaving the monthly rate as it was if we paid like 6 months in advance. He said he would consider it but when we parted it didn't seem like he was going too. It was easy to like but I'm at a point I need something. So I am going to start looking at 1 bedrooms again. I need to do something soon! I'm under so much stress right now, my feet are swollen, my head hurts, and I clench my teeth so hard in my sleep that I clang them together when I talk and it hurts. I need relief.
Monday is court. Hopefully the last day of it. That stresses me out too. No idea how the assessment went. Don't think my brother will be there but he may have a last minute change of heart. Would not be good for Penelope as even if he shows, there still is no case but it could be drug out even longer. We will see.
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