My little girl lost to me Like a ship lost in a stormy sea.
Ripped from my arms to quickly to breathe I tried to catch her but couldn't seize
She's in my heart everyday I hope she comes back to me, one day, she may
I wish I could tell her how much I miss her, but have been told no way, no sir
so until she is older, until she is 18
In my dreams she will have to be seen.
She left her, neglected her, abused her and left her again and again and again. All the medical professionals say Penelope shouldn't see her because of her continual abusive behavior. She sent a card last year at Easter where Harriet innocently stated how much she misses her. However, how does a child who has been hurt so much suppose to process such a statement? The burden of such a statement with all that has happened. The emotions and questions it creates, mostly starting with "Why?" or "How?" "How can you say you miss me when you left me so many times?" "Why do you miss me when you never wanted to be around me?" Things like that. Harriet was very upset when I tried to explain this to her - to look at it from Penelope's perspective. But she doesn't view her parenting as abusive, or at least won't admit it, so it's all just me manipulating her daughter into hating her. That it's all everyone else, not her. It's sad really. Sad for Penelope.
Ripped from my arms to quickly to breathe I tried to catch her but couldn't seize
She's in my heart everyday I hope she comes back to me, one day, she may
I wish I could tell her how much I miss her, but have been told no way, no sir
so until she is older, until she is 18
In my dreams she will have to be seen.
She left her, neglected her, abused her and left her again and again and again. All the medical professionals say Penelope shouldn't see her because of her continual abusive behavior. She sent a card last year at Easter where Harriet innocently stated how much she misses her. However, how does a child who has been hurt so much suppose to process such a statement? The burden of such a statement with all that has happened. The emotions and questions it creates, mostly starting with "Why?" or "How?" "How can you say you miss me when you left me so many times?" "Why do you miss me when you never wanted to be around me?" Things like that. Harriet was very upset when I tried to explain this to her - to look at it from Penelope's perspective. But she doesn't view her parenting as abusive, or at least won't admit it, so it's all just me manipulating her daughter into hating her. That it's all everyone else, not her. It's sad really. Sad for Penelope.
4 comments:
I'm sending you a big hug! I've dealt with similar issues with my kids' birthmom. She's all about herself. I know she is mentally ill, but it's still so hard on the kids. You can't run birthmom down, but at the same time you have to protect the kids too. It's a tough situation.
Mary in TX
I'm sending you a big hug! I've dealt with similar issues with my kids' birthmom. She's all about herself. I know she is mentally ill, but it's still so hard on the kids. You can't run birthmom down, but at the same time you have to protect the kids too. It's a tough situation.
Mary in TX
The bday cards this year were full of manipulation not meant for the kids....so we pre-opened and decided to buy new cards to sign their names to and include appropriate sentiments from their original cards.
Hate that they don't get how they are hurting the kids.
A therapist once told me something a while ago that to some degree explains these type of parents. When the parents themselves are dysfunctional, they want there children to also be dysfunctional -because it's part of ones need to be surrounded by the same, familiarity. Same thinking. It's why it's okay the standards of care are so low. Some parents think "I want my children to have more than I had" and then there are some that think "Why should they get any more than I got?"
It's hard to look at this type of thinking, in my mind - this type of total selfishness and not be defensive or even pissed. I know Harriet has her own mental health issues. I don't know what they are. I wish I did, maybe it would help me understand her better. It's hard not to hate her. I try to keep her up to date with Penelope and how she is doing, progresses and regressions. But when Penelope is in a bad regression, Harriet competes for attention. So I tend not to tell her much. Not the really bad stuff. I get conflicted with the feeling she should know, being that it's her daughter, but then I know that her reaction could hurt Penelope more.
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