Harriet

I had to call Harriet. She called Sunday morning at 9am. She knows not to call when Penelope is home but she does it anyway. I've told her that Penelope might answer and that would be a bad thing - but she does it anyway. She wants Penelope to answer. Because see, Harriet sees herself as the victim, and I'm the evil villain who has taken her daughter away from her and brainwashed her into thinking that Harriet is a bad person. The key point of her perception/fantasy is that she is the victim.
It was 2 months ago, I think, that she said she was planning on setting an appointment with a therapist through her health insurance, since the "clinic" she was trying to get in with supposedly told her that her case isn't dire enough for them and turned her away. The last couple of weeks she had been calling George and complaining about the fact she can't see Penelope and how unfair it is. George told me that she threatened to get an attorney and that she told her case manager (of what - SSI?) and she also thinks it's unfair and Harriet should get an attorney. I'm curious what crap she told this case manager - obviously not the whole truth. She probably left out the fact she is suppose to go to therapy and that she use to lock Harriet in her room for hours as a toddler/baby. But then, you only see what I've written and maybe I'm leaving out a bunch of stuff or making this whole thing up. I'm sure I've left out things. Only God, Penelope and Harriet really know what happened between them. And George when it relates to George. Penelope's memory is complex and I'm sure she has left out things or has blocked them. But I certainly am not making up anything. I have my memory and my parent's memory and what we have been able to verify through other people or other forms of evidence.
Anyway, I called her Monday while Penelope was at tutors. I hadn't spoken to Harriet in about 5 weeks. She acted as fake as ever when she got on the phone. "Oh hi!!!! How is everything?? How is Penelope??" I told her she is doing much better. She had been doing very well and then she had a rough patch and she is coming out of that but overall a lot better I think. She is going "Oh.. good good... oh? okay, good.." whatever. Anyway, I told her about the IEP being finalized last Thursday finally. Then I told her that Penelope received her Easter Day card. She said "Oh good.." I said, "Yeah, well it really made her sad. Not because of the card. She has been okay with cards in the past, but what the card said." She got angry and said "What did it say that was so bad!?" I said "It said that you missed her so much. 'I miss you so much. I love you more than anything in the world.' Kids blame themselves and it puts a lot of guilt on her. She.." Harriet interrupted and said "I just wanted to tell her how I feel. To let her know that I haven't left her or don't think about her." I said "I know that but you have to think how that message is going to be received. It's not a good topic to discuss with her in a card." Harriet said "I guess I can't send her cards anymore then!" I said "No, it's just what you put in the cards that matters. Keep it upbeat. Like 'I hear great things about you. Keep up the good work!' Let her know you are supporting her during this time that she needs in order to heal and get stronger." She was quiet. Then she said "So I should keep it formal." Her tone was saying she meant 'keep it fake'. She started to say she had to go but I tried to ask question. She said "I'm sorry, go ahead?" I said "I wanted to ask you something about something I heard. Is it true that you have threatened to get an attorney?" She said "No. I got a letter about child support that said that I could request a hearing date but I already talked to George about that." I said, "So it isn't true that you have been calling George, like once or twice, in the middle of the night demanding to see Penelope and threatening to get an attorney?" She said "No!" I said, "Okay.. because George told me that you have called him and said you were thinking about getting an attorney, that you spoke to your case manager and she thought your situation wasn't fair and you should get an attorney." Harriet said, "I didn't say I was going to get an attorney, but I did say that I told my case manager about my situation and she said I should get an attorney." I paused biting my tongue. For her case manager to feel like that... anyway, I wasn't going to list off things that I was sure she failed to tell her case manager. I said "So then are you planning on getting an attorney?" She said "No." I said, "That's good. It would be really sad to think that you have that mindset. It would only hurt Penelope and all the work she has done and the work that I have tried to do for her if you did that. I'm glad you are not." She said "No, my plan is to stay out of her life!...for now... I got to go" Click... and she hung up. The last sentence she was crying. Well, she cried on and off throughout starting with me telling her what would have been better to write her in the card.
Since that was a short conversation, I still had about 40 minutes before I had to pick up Penelope from her tutors, so I called George to give him a heads up in case she called him. About 5 minutes into our conversation, Harriet started calling his phone. He didn't take either call she made.
I'm glad the phone call was over but I just hate talking to her. She is either so fake, or she pulls this "I'm the victim in this situation" crap that makes me just want to give her a piece of my mind.
She probably won't call me for a while... we will see I guess.