I know I can sometimes have the patience of a 2 year old but I forwarded the email conversation I had with Mrs. Carpenter and Penelope's Lead Teacher on to the Principal and asked to set up a meeting. The last sentence of my message was "I need your help to provide Molly the education she is entitled to and deserves." That was about 6 hours ago. I know he's received it. They are very high tech here in our little town, being one of the top public schools in the country. I mean, every teacher has a "Smartboard" that are basically like the largest computer monitor you've ever seen - instead of a chalk board. They have hands-free wireless microphones. Each teacher has their own webpage. I have online access to all of Penelope's grades and a quarter to date average for each class. I knew by 10am this morning what her grade was on the project that was due today. As the principal of the middle school of this most prestigious community, I'm sure he has a blackberry or iphone or any smartphone that sends him his emails instantly.
So, I'm sure he has forwarded my email on to Mrs. Carpenter and the Lead Teacher to get some background information. I'm curious what excuse they will come up with this time. Who knows. I'm not going to fret on it. I promised myself that. I can't control it.....
I definitely have that anxious feeling in my chest, like that fight or flight feeling. And it's leaning more towards the feeling of fight. I feel like I'm going into battle and preparing for such. I'm trying to keep some distance from it though. I get so emotional about this whole situation. I take it so personally - on Penelope's behalf. I feel like, here is this child, who has been let down by the two people that she should have been able to rely on the most, that needs an advocate, a crusader for what she deserves - despite everything and everyone else. That as a society, it's our responsibility to pick up these children who have been discarded - because they deserve better. We look at them and we look into a mirror - that could have been me, or you. Who would help me if I was in this situation? They weren't asked to be born and they have no authority. They are our future - or our detriment. I hope that her life struggles will make her to be a stronger and better person than me. I hope I can give her the opportunities to be able to have the choice of becoming that person. I hope what help I can provide her will provide her what she needs to have a well-rounded life. I worry that if she continues down this road she keeps trying to get back on to, she will end up pregnant, and/or drop out of school, and or become addicted to drugs. I fear her life will be shortened by either her own suicide or self destructive behavior.
Why do I put so much pressure on this situation? This situation isn't the end all, break it or make it. I know that. I don't know whether or not if the teachers do what I ask, if it would absolutely make a difference. But it's like the conversation I had with George that I spoke of at the beginning of my last post. His argument to not caring about the low standards of the school Penelope was going to be going to, in order for him and his wife to have their little anarchistic lifestyle, "Not everyone is meant to go to college." It's a parents' duty to give them the option. Isn't it the school's duty to work with the children the best they can? I just see their unwillingness to put in place 4 or 5 techniques as a needless hurdle.
I do believe they will work. She will be happier, stronger, more prideful, and healthier. I've seen it work at home. I know it can.
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